She's fiery, she is fierce, she is FIVE!!

 

BEFORE October 21st, 2005, I was pretty sure that I had the whole parenting thing down.  Katie was nearly two, I could count on ONE hand the actual battles we had "fought" with her.  Katie, slept thru the night at 11 weeks and was more scheduled as a toddler than I was as an adult.  She understood and acted upon, "first time obedience" and Mark and I thought we were looking good. I had NEVER lost my patience with Katie, and I had NEVER raised my voice at her.  I was well rested.  Ready for my picture to be on the "mother of year" poster. I was well adapted to motherhood, and THEN.....

October 21st, 2005.  It was 8 am, and I was being admitted to the hospital. I was four centimeters dilated and prepared to labor "naturally" until I reached a 7. At which time I was going to have an epidural and VOILA!, our next baby, whose gender was unknown, would come into the world.  He was going to be named Anderson Joshua. I just KNEW it was a boy.

At 10:45 am, I was crying through the contractions and was ready for the epidural.  The nurse checked me said I was dilated to a 6 1/2.  She went to fetch the doctor. All I kept thinking was relief was minutes away.  The doctor came in and I almost kissed her, thinking that the 6 inch needle was on its way into my back.

She smiled and said, "Sara, the baby is ready, we don't have time for an epidural, it's time to push!!"

"What the (*&^% ?????"

"Oh, no I am at a 6 1/2, and I am at the perfect stage for the epidural."

The doctor said, "no!" The face I wanted to kiss 30 seconds ago, now I wanted to spit at!" (P.S. I loved, loved, loved, my OBGYN, but labor makes you think and do crazy things!!)

Then, at 11:21am, the most pain I have EVER felt in my whole life consumed my body, noises from the pit of hell emerged from my mouth, and while my eyes were rolling into the back of my head, I pushed out a baby. ( Believe it or not after all that, I did choose to give birth naturally again, that's another post for another day.)  They could have told me she was a monkey. I didn't care.  I had NO emotional response to them saying, "GIRL!!!" All I knew is that the pain was over.  This is why we found out the gender with Lucy and Anderson.  I wanted to have an emotional response, not just a physical response when the gender was announced.

That was the beginning of Julia Waitz Littlejohn, writing HER own story, in her OWN way, and marching to the beat of her OWN drum.

                         

Going from one to two was the hardest adjustment for me.  I struggled with depression, and being totally paralyzed by the tasks that were thrown at me day after day after day.  A two year old and a new born have a way of leaving  you with nothing to show except dark circles and a broken spirit.  Just as I was getting my feet on the ground, a now nearly four year old katie, a 2 1/2 year old Julia and a 1 year old Lucy, things changed again.  Julia changed again.  We were living in King George, VA for 10 short weeks.  It ended up being the longest 10 weeks of my life.  Julia was strong willed.  Julia was 2.  The two characteristics collided into each other, and some type of combustion took place in our household.

Julia fought us about EVERYTHING.  There was not ONE request I could make that she didn't buck her head, and her strong will against. She did the exact opposite of what I asked her to do.  And she NEVER obeyed the first time.  There are not enough fingers and toes in this world to count the battles that we have had with Julia.  But we had a battle plan!!  First, the prayers of her grandparents, her aunts and uncles, and our dear friends sustained Mark and me, and protected Julia from Mark and me. ;) Second, Mark and I had to continually have "come to Jesus meetings",  begging, pleading, crying, that the Lord in His sweet favor would show us how to mold Julia's spirit without breaking her. And for a short season that meant that Julia had to learn that we as her parents were going to win EVERY battle.  She was two, and she was longing for boundaries and somebody to show her who was boss. She wanted to know if we were serious.  And if we were going to be serious EVERY time.

I thought I was emotionally and physically drained before we entered that season of intentional discipline and heart ache with Julia. I was clueless. Ask my mom, my mother-in-law, my sister, this was the BIGGEST battle that Mark and I had to conquer for the well being of one of our children.  We weren't fighting against Julia, we were storming the gates of hell on her behalf. We knew that if her spirit was not molded, that her heart would be the devil's playground.  My sister's words were finally the turning point for me when she said, "Sara, God made Julia strong willed, you have to get out of the way and LET GOD get to Julia!"  That didn't mean that we stopped disciplining.  It just gave me a big picture kind of mentality. It just reminded me that God was and is going to use her strong will for His glory.

That very difficult battle began to dwindle about six months later when she turned 3, it clicked. The constant butting of heads began to be less and less.  While her spirit was being molded, MY spirit was being molded too. We still have drop, down, drag-outs with her, but it's so very different. 

God has great things in store for my determined, passionate, little girl.  He knitted her together in my belly with His very finger tips.  He knew what He was doing when He gave her to Mark and I.  And He has equipped us in EVERY WAY to guide her.  I get so overcome with emotion when I think about who she is today.  She is brave, confident, creative, sensitive, and so very strong willed (you can see it in her eyes in the picture above.  The way she is biting her lip... WATCH OUT!).

Today, Julia turns five.

Julia, you have made your daddy and I EARN our parent badges with blood, sweat, and tears.  But not for ONE SINGLE SECOND would we have it any other way.  I am so glad you were a girl, I am so glad you were my Julia, and I am so glad that I am your Mama.

Happy birthday to the fiercest, most fiery, most fabulous five year old I know!!

Hugs and Kisses,

Mama