Saturday, July 30, 2011

there are no words...

there are no words...but i'll try and find some. we are in kansas. we are alive (barely) and we hope with all there is that we will survive the next week of life. we had the move from hell. and i have no problem using such harsh language, b/c that is what it was.  it will be a while before i can actually begin the series on our move. i am trying to forget it all right now and move ahead to the next crisis in our life. or the next crisis' (plural). our van died, we had to cancel our vacation to MS, mark starts work on monday, our daugther starts public school in two weeks (no comments from the peanut gallery please) and we've all been plagued with strep throat and sinus infections. this might sound like a pitty party, well, IT IS!!

it would be best if everyone refrained from leaving encouraging comments, or "hang in there speeches", and please don't quote phil 4:13 i might come unglued. silence would actually be better.  i realize it could be MUCH worse... we are all alive, we are still a family, we are surrounded with the most amazing family and friends, and we know that He has not forgotten us. we just need some serious prayers for wisdom, strength, and stability (and winning the lottery wouldn't hurt either)!!

 i hope to return to the blog more regularly when my heart is no longer numb, and i am not dumbfounded.

sorry to be an eeyore,

Friday, July 15, 2011

something old: something new (day 19) last one...

this is my last, "something old: something new" post..

actually, this could be my last post from king george,  and my last post for the next few weeks as we try and settle into life in kansas.

old: 2 years ago as we set our sights on king george, we were coming here to fulfill a commitment to the government.  they had put mark through the last two years of college so we owed them two years.  by faith we loaded our 5 year old, 3 year old, 23 month old, and 6 week old and left everything we knew. we had NO idea what the next two years would look like.  there were some REALLY difficult moments. moments where it was VERY unclear why we were here (of all places) while we were "needed" in so many other places.  what we didn't yet fully know was that WE  (mark, sara, katie, julia, lucy and anderson) needed king george. for reasons that i have walked through for the last multiple posts. as always, God had amazing things for us here, God had things that He needed to work on IN us while we were here, God had people who would make our life richer here waiting for us, God had moments that would change our lives forever while we here in king george. He is good, ALWAYS good. in the hard, in the easy, in the unknown, in the known, in the glorious, in the mundane, in the old and in the new. He has plans for us, for all of us. He is to be high and lifted up. He is to be worshiped, adored, and obeyed. He is holy. He is continually working on our behalf to mold and make us into HIS IMAGE. The longer we fight, refuse, and resist His love, the longer we lack peace and true rest. We miss Him if we don't know Him.  And He is ALL that is worth knowing.

new: 21 days ago we set our sights on kansas in a real and non- "in your dreams" kind of way. we have a commitment to fulfill. one that says, " i will honor my mother, love my mother, and respect my mother, as long as i can, with as much as i can". she gave me life, she laid her life down for me for 20 years, day and night. i owe her. we are not super heroes swooping down to save the day. we are walking by faith to lighten the load of many hands. we don't HAVE to... we WANT to.... we are excited and desire to do this. on thursday, one week from yesterday, we will load our 7, 5, 4, and 2 year old up and move to a more familiar place. we don't know that life will look like while we are there. there will be moments that are unclear and difficult. what we think is that mom needs us, but what is really true, is that we desperately need her.  as always, God has amazing things for us there, God has things that He needs to work on IN us while we are there, God has people who will make our life richer there waiting for us, God has moments that will change our lives forever while we are there. He is good, ALWAYS good. in the hard, in the easy, in the unknown, in the known, in the glorious, in the mundane, in the old and in the new. He has plans for us, for all of us. He is to be high and lifted up. He is to be worshiped, adored, and obeyed. He is holy. He is continually working on our behalf to mold and make us into HIS IMAGE. The longer we fight, refuse, and resist His love, the longer we lack peace and true rest.  We will miss Him if we don't know Him.  And He is ALL that is worth knowing.


Thursday, July 14, 2011

something old: something new (day 18)

old: it is not until you actually become a parent that you can fully appreciate babysitters.  when we moved from starkville to king george, that was my biggest prayer request, "Lord, help me find people who will LOVE and take care of my most precious possessions!"  He answered me.  He gave me FIVE incredible babysitters who LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my children and who are so good to me and Mark.  When raising four children it takes a village. These ladies have lightened my load.  They make it EASY to leave my kids. I know they are safe, AND i know that they are well taken care of. what a special, special, gift. girls, you are very appreciated. your hours of toe nail and finger nail painting, reading books, coloring, goofy gaming, snuggling, outside walks and talks, are not overlooked. you will be DEEPLY missed by ME, and even more so by my kids :)


amber and stephanie:

joelle: (not pictured)

moving back to Kansas gives us the distinct advantage of being close to MS again. by close, i mean, i can get in the car in the morning and be rolling into Grandma and Grandy's by bed time. that is SUPER exciting.  we have missed MS, A LOT.  we have missed our family and friends in MS, A LOT! the road between KS and MS has been worn in very well and is calling our name again :)  see you soon MS!


Wednesday, July 13, 2011

something old: something new (day 17)

old: i will miss my friend, dave.  i will miss seeing mark and dave together. i will miss dave for my husband. and that is all i can say about that. :(

these super fun people!


Tuesday, July 12, 2011

something old: something new (day 16)

old: i will miss the physical distance, which lends itself to the emotional distance, of being "far away" from the disease. sometimes i get to live in la-la land about what exactly my mom, dad, and siblings are going through. while i never intentionally allowed myself to do that.. it just happens with space. i know there will be days where i will wish i was 1100 miles away... not to get away from those whom i dearly, dearly, love.. rather to distance myself from the disease and it's painful everyday effects.

new: my brothers. it will be exceptionally wonderful to get to BE with my brothers again. movies, trips, game nights, nothing nights...lasagna nights :)... carrying the load together. and for the first time in my children's lives they will actually get to LIVE where they have real life uncles and aunts (they did have WONDERFUL great-aunts and great-uncles whom watched them grow in MS, and that is NOT to be dismissed :) ..... BLESSING!!!


Monday, July 11, 2011

something old: something new (day 13.14. & 15)

i told you it was going to get crazy and the blog would be neglected. it also didn't help that we didn't have internet service :(  anyway, we are back up and running and well.... it's crazy around here. we have VBS in the morning, and then packing and wrapping our life up in the afternoon. every waking hour has been scheduled between now and Friday night, when our house MUST BE PACKED :)

i have yet again redefined what "exhausted" means.  so, if i come rolling into kansas with black circles under my eyes, and my children are half dressed in mix-matching clothes... you'll know why.....

old: i've said it before, i'll say it again. we LOVE our church. i don't have the brain power to explain with words the way we feel about them, so here is part of our goodbye letter to them, "As we dance with the anticipation of what is to come, we begin to allow ourselves to fully grieve what we are saying goodbye to.  Grace has been our life line for the two years we have lived here. Your warmth, care, and concern for our family has sustained us through some dark days and through some very special moments. You have gone above and beyond ministering to our hearts. We will be forever changed by our interactions and fellowship with this Church Body."

Our church loves well, REALLY well.  They are to be commended for their intentional ways of desiring to develop deep, meaningful, community with those in their body as well as those outside of their church.  When I wrote that our family would never be the same because of our time here at Grace, I meant it. We love deeper and richer b/c of them, we interact with more purpose and vision b/c of them, we worship with grace and truth MORE b/c of them. Our church isn't perfect. Actually, it's full of wonderfully screwed up and dysfunctional people, LIKE US!  And that's what makes them R.E.A.L. If Grace Presbyterian, King George, is any bit of a foretaste of what heaven holds, I am more excited than I have EVER been about eternity with the Saints.

new: while leaving will not be easy, going home to this face, will make it all worth it :)!! i love you, mom.


Friday, July 8, 2011

something old: something new (day 11 & 12)

old: i will miss my friend Lee Heather, immensely!  over the last two years Mark has saved a large amount of therapy money by simply allowing me to debrief weekly with Lee Heather. :)  As God so perfectly planned our time here, He knit together friendships for me that benefited me, that encouraged me, that healed me, that taught me, that at the end of the day, i am a better person, wife, mother, child-of-God because of these friends.. and Lee Heather has been vital to my heart in SO many ways.  Lee Heather is a very safe place for me to be.  she is one of the best listeners i know. and i have laughed multiple times in the presence of Lee Heather until my belly ached! Lee Heather, thank you!!

old: *we are doing two today*

i will miss my friend Lindsey Schubert.  Lindsey and Jason moved to King George the same month we moved to King George. They moved here after going to seminary in St. Louis. it was and has been SO nice to have someone who can relate to you on SO MANY TOPICS. we can talk about the midwest, or southern traditions; as seeing that Jason and Lindsey are both from the south.  we can talk about college sports or american idol.  our husbands could entertain themselves for hours... they've done it several times.  we had the high privilege of watching jason and lindsey walk through pregnancy, and now through the last 9 months of sweet adeliade's life. it probably was much more "fun" from our perspective. :) Lindsey is a rock star first time mom. she has been so calm, so relaxed, and is a prime example of really making mothering HER OWN, despite what the books, the internet, or the masses tell her. Lindsey, thank you for being my friend. for coming over and playing games with us when we were the new kids on the block.... and for always being willing to bring "the salad"! you'll be very missed!!

new: my dad. i love being with my dad! i love sitting and talking with him about anything or nothing. i love that my kids will get to know him in a way they have never had a chance to before. i am looking forward to serving my dad in the same way he has selflessly served me for the past 29 and 3/4 years :) dad is so excited about our move home that for the past two years he has offered to drive the moving truck across the country when it was time. well, sure enough dad arrives next Wednesday to fulfill that commitment!

new: the Lawrence family, in Lawrence, Kansas.... enough said!!


Wednesday, July 6, 2011

something old: something new (day 9 & 10)

old: i will deeply, deeply, miss the life and the daily interactions i have with my friend, Chris.

(Chris, we have no pictures of just the two of us. We have 12 days to fix this!)

new: i am so excited to finally get to share life in the same place with my sister, Joanna.


Monday, July 4, 2011

something old: something new (day 8)

old: Westmoreland Berry Farm

new: my mom's side of the family uses any and all reasons to get together for a party: birthdays, holidays, sundays, whatever... a party is ALWAYS welcome in blue springs. i would say this is one of the top 3 things i have missed the most about being KS. there is always abundant laughter and delicious food.  i am VERY much looking forward to the blue springs get-togethers!


Sunday, July 3, 2011

something old: something new (day 6 & 7)

old: this sign went up in our yard yesterday. i cried. we love the house that we are renting right now.  not so much b/c it's our dream house, rather we have made lots of memories here. our baby boy was this big when we brought him here:

and here he is now:

we all grew in this house; taller, wider (some of us :) deeper, spiritually richer, older, hopefully wiser, more kind and definitely more gracious. we have created sweet, sweet, memories with overflowing home group meetings, over night visitors, and late night card games. we will miss our little house on savannah street.

new:  as He always does, God has provided a beautiful place for our family to continue to grow and establish new, sweet, memories.  we are excited to set up a home in this beautiful place!

Friday, July 1, 2011

something old: something new (day 5)

old: this weekend is the 4th of july which makes me think of the greatest city ever.. Washington DC! i love this city. it is by far my favorite city that i have ever visited. i can't even tell you how many times we have been. in the blazing hot sun, in the pouring ran, in the freezing cold, and in the perfect spring and fall... I JUST LOVE IT! we have made oodles of memories there.  the sad thing is lucy and anderson will probably not remember a thing.. so i guess we'll just have to come back :)!!

new: two words. First. Watch.