Wednesday, April 27, 2011

be careful of the WOMB?!

recently, lucy "accidentally" kicked julia on the upper part of the inside of her leg.. julia, emphatically responded,"lucy, you can not kick me there!! you have to be VERY careful, you could break my womb!!!!"

i almost spit my tea across the room.

i love my kids.

happy wednesday,

Thursday, April 21, 2011

if i were really honest with you...

i would tell you that my heart has been very discontent these last 4 days. while our trip to kansas was so super wonderful, it has not been such a super recovery from holiday hangover.  it's like i know this great and awesome plan awaits us in kansas, but there is no date or time for us getting there. there is this large "unknown" of a job lingering around. mark has graciously offered to work for topsy's or panera if it gets us there :) however, i am sure his salary would not be able to support our growing family of 6. there is a hunger in my heart to be in kansas, but there is no satisfaction to that specific hunger until the Lord provides the means for us to get there. i know the Lord has allowed this time of fasting in my heart to prompt me to seek Him.. but sometimes i would rather lay down on the floor and have a temper tantrum. i would rather manipulate the situation to get what i want RIGHT NOW, rather than allow the lack of satisfaction to draw me to remember Him. six weeks ago i was convinced the job searching was going to be the easy part of us getting back to kansas. now there are moments when i doubt we will ever get back to kansas.

and in the meantime, while i long for kansas, i desire to be "fully here" in king george. some of our dearest friends and community dwell right here. i want to enjoy them, develop deep relationship with them.. i desire to be where God wants me, and obviously for today, april 21st, that is right here.

i ask that you pray for three specific things for our family:

1. that discouragement would not consume our hearts.
2. that we would be humble, willing, and patient.
3. that God would provide a job for us in Kansas so that HIS glory and HIS ways might be revealed!

thank you for coming along on this journey with us!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

he waits for you..a tribute to uncle joshua!

this morning the girls were asking about heaven. one of my favorite things to talk about! we talked about what it was going to be like. the girls loved the idea that the lion was going to lay down with lamb, and that they would be able to roam the streets of gold with their lion friends :)  lucy, still too young to grasp everything stated, "mama, i don't want you to die!!" i replied, "sweetie, we are ALL going to die, and if God chooses to take me home to heaven you will not be alone, it WILL be ok. and i will wait for you and cheer you on til you come to be with me in heaven forever...." she paused and said, "uncle joshua is waiting for me!!" :)

such a sweet thought on this, joshua's birthday. joshua is in fact waiting for us, and hebrews tells us the saints are cheering us on. oh, what a glorious day that will be!

happy birthday uncle joshua!

 this picture makes me weep.. such a sweet big brother..

 i can not even begin to tell you how incredibly special this next picture is:

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Living in the Storm: How is your mom?

it's only natural that everyone is wondering how my mom is since i just returned from a trip home.  thank you for asking and caring.

if ever there were a piece of furniture that flooded my brain with memories of my mom i would say it is her dresser. it's a beautiful piece and very unique.. just like mom.

i remember sitting on my mom's bed watching her get ready. un-doing her curlers, putting on her liquid base, and spraying her perfume on. for the longest time mom would store little notes in the top right drawer. little notes that she could send to others with encouraging messages of hope and truth. her socks were always in the left hand top drawer. while i was home i was putting away some of mom's laundry and sat for a while and looked at her dresser. it was sweet time of remembering for me. something particular stuck out to me on my mom's dresser...

there sitting on the quaint little shelf sat this message. it is quite obvious that my mom is remembering less and less everyday, but there is a determination in her spirit that will not let His promises go. she can still quote some of her favorite passages and sing her favorite songs. each threaded with powerful truths from God's perfect and Holy word. i know there is fear and insecurity about what the future holds for my mom. she feels it, and we as her family feel it. however, everyday as she struggles to get dressed, as she helplessly allows my dad to do her hair, how the perfume bottle sits empty because the smell is too overwhelming, the little note drawer is empty b/c she can no longer write, her socks are scattered to and fro, and drawers are a cloudy mess of confusion,.....  she SEES these words! she BELIEVES these words! she LIVES as is these words have and continue to make a difference in her life. in the middle of this raging storm.. she KNOWS that the promises her Savior and Redeemer have made her are a SURE as the sun rising in the east. her steps on this earth are shaky and unsteady.  and while she is not, nor will never "improve".... she is LIVING, and we will give her life and purpose until she lands softly.


Monday, April 18, 2011

let me introduce myself...

yes, yes.. we are ALIVE (barely!)  we are home from our 2500 mile, 115 gallons of gas, 48 hours in the car, 9 days, 8 nights, 8 states, 3 hotels, and tons and tons of family and friend adventure!! and we would do it ALL over again..... hopefully, next time it will be with a moving truck :)

there is no point in trying to recap our week in kansas. it would take days and more words then i care to use. all you need to know is that it was helpful, hilarious, hectic, hope bearing, happy, heart capturing, full of harebrained moments, harmonious, and absolutely healing for me ..... it was HOME!!! and i would not trade a moment of it all.

enjoy a small portion of the thousands of pictures :)!!

the next generation of the Halls/Leppers (missing Bonnie's 2)
 Megan and Lucy

matt and mark laying out 

Poppo handing out money before we enter the A.G. store.

Poor, Poor, Poppo

Megs on the merry-go-round

too fun with poppo

Uncle J and Julia

cuddle time with cousins

uncle time

 they are cracking up at their uncles and daddys making hilarious dance moves...

 deanna rose petting zoo with my dear friend erin and her two sweet girls

Friday, April 8, 2011

bring it!

2200 miles? bring it.
5 days, 48 hours with four children in a cramped min-van? bring it!
gas at 3.60 gallon? bring it!
an impending government shut down? bring it!
hail, rain, sleet, snow? bring it!
30 DVD's? bring it!
snacks to feed an army? bring it!
crayons, school, coloring books, american girls, trucks, footballs, doodles, more trucks? bring it!

going home to see my mom, my dad, my siblings, my nieces, my cousins, my aunts, my uncles, oodles and oodles of the best friends this world has to offer? bring it!!

kansas? BRING IT!!


Thursday, April 7, 2011

ain't nothing else to do :)!

Jesus I am resting, resting
In the Joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.
Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee,
And Thy beauty fills my soul,
For by Thy transforming power
Thou hast made me whole.


Jesus, I am resting, resting
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.

O how great Thy loving kindness.
Vaster, broader than the sea!
O how marvellous Thy goodness,
Lavished all on me!
Yes, I rest in Thee, Beloved,
Know Thy certainty of promise,
And have made it mine.

Jesus, I am resting, resting
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.

Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus,
I behold Thee as Thou art,
And Thy love, so pure, so changeless,
Satisfies my heart;
Satisfies its deepest longings,
Meets supplies its every need,
Compasseth me round with blessings;
Thine is love indeed!

Jesus, I am resting, resting
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.

Ever lift Thy face upon me,
As I work and wait for Thee;
Resting 'neath Thy smile, Lord Jesus,
Earth's dark shadows flee.
Brightness of my Father's glory,
Sunshine of my Father's face,
Keep me ever trusting, resting;
Fill me with Thy grace.

Jesus, I am resting, resting
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011


we are in full packing mode here. sorry if the posts are inconsistent and lacking in the upcoming weeks :)

i needed to see a doctor yesterday for some things, and i had to burst out laughing when she said to me, "have you been under an increased amount of stress in the last 6 weeks?" *thinking*

 while, yes i have dear doctor. i am the mother of four children under seven. i am trying to move cross-country to kansas, while simultaneously finding a job, a house, a school, and well... a whole new life. i am preparing for 2200 mile round trip "vacation" with my family. trying to organize a mass family picture (this one is a joke :). i am processing and exploring levels of grief that are paralyzing some days. i am also trying to shop, prepare, and serve 3 wholesome meals to my family seven days a week. i am trying to stay connected and current with all the happenings with our families. i am also running a home, paying bills, educating my children, folding laundry, maintaining old relationships, building new relationships. i am trying to raise kids that see Jesus and don't ignore people. i am fighting to keep my marriage alive and fantastic in this sick and dark world that likes to eat marriages up and vomit them out. and, somewhere in that list real life happens.. cars break down, kids get sick, bank accounts go empty, it rains unexpectedly, the coffee runs out and your heart breaks. so, yes dear doctor, i would say that in fact i am under a bit more stress and anxiety then i would typically like to admit.

and while i didn't say all of those poetic things, her response was even more hilarious. " sara, i suggest you introduce less stress into your life, and try not to internalize things so much!" *thinking*

1. i don't ever willingly introduce stress into my life
2. this lovely doctor is obviously not privy to the blog where i hardly internalize a thought :)

none-the-less, i had to think about her comment. and typically, i would like to think i am not a controlling, freaked out, stressed out person. but maybe that's not realistic. ALL of those things in the above paragraph go some where. and right now, i think those things are getting pushed down into my stomach. and well, my tummy is rebelling.

if you would ask, i would tell you that i trust Jesus and "i am casting all my cares on Him" as the sunday school curriculum would suggest. but obviously, my stomach is saying something completely different. which means it's time for some heart surgery. what am i trusting? who am i trusting? besides, going to the foot of the cross with these weights that make my chest feel heavy, where am i taking them? and why am i NOT taking these issues to the Creator of this world, the Creator of this heart that is breaking, the Creator of this tummy that is rumbling, who is patiently waiting for me to call on Him to come and carry me? because let's be honest, i need Him to carry me. we ALL need Him.


Saturday, April 2, 2011

the big reveal!

so you guessed a new job in kansas? nope. (but keep praying!)
a dog? NO WAY!
a baby? nope.
an interview? nope.
someone paying for our trip to ks? nope. (but donations are accepted :)
i am going to run a marathon? HA! no way!

you might think the big surprise is this darling boy's new hair cut for kansas..

 but it's not.

you might think the big surprise is this darling little girl's new hair cut...

but it's not.

the real surprise is just below.

are you surprised? the one and only kathryne carter, the doctor of hair :), helped create this new look and I LOVE IT! the kids, and mark, are all still adjusting to it around here. lucy asked me last night if when i woke up my hair was still going to be short...? too cute!

thanks kathryne!

Friday, April 1, 2011


a big surprise at the littlejohn house! (no we are not pregnant)

the first person to guess right in the comment section gets a 10 dollar gift card to starbucks! (mass email people excluded)

guess away!!


p.s. zach and joanna you are unfortunately excluded also, you know too much!!

moved to tears..

i know, i know it does not take much to move me to tears... but something that moves me deeper than most things this world has to offer is MUSIC. music has, and always will, be a sweet source of therapy for me. at the end of a hard day you can find me at the piano.. in the middle of hard day you can find me rocking with tears as my itunes plays. in the morning when i wake, i hear the music of my children's pitter-pattering feet.

please, please do not leave my blog today without listening to this song. listen to the words. let them penetrate into the depths of your soul. don't leave here unchanged. i know that on some level we are ALL hurting today. you are safe here today, friend. i am praying for each and everyone person that reads these words. you are not alone. you have not been abandoned. you are such a BLESSING to me. thank you for being vulnerable. you are loved!

this particular line holds much importance to me, "what if a thousand sleepless nights is what it takes to know You are near".  i was in intense bondage to fear for about 3 years.. 3 years...a thousand sleepless nights for me. held captive by the enemy. but at the end of the those thousand sleepless nights, i KNOW that HE is near. He is worth it. He is faithful. He is good. Amen and amen!

be blessed,

Laura Story
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family
Protection while we sleep
We pray for healing
For prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand
to ease our suffering
And all the while
You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

Cuz what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know you’re near
What if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness
We doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
And all the while You hear each desperate plea
Lord, that we’d have faith to believe

Cuz what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know you’re near
What if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise?

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not
This is not our home

Cuz what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know you’re near
What if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise?

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
is the revealing of a greater thirst
This world can’t satisfy?
And what if trials of this life
The rain
The storms
The hardest nights
are your mercies in disguise