SaraLittlejohn.com: we not only survived, we have thrived!

a very wise many by the name of bill adams prayed that our wedding day would be the worst day of our marriage. now before you take offense, hear this; the heart of his message was that he desired that our wedding day would only be the beginning of our love journey. a spring board for a deeper, richer, relationship with one another. he really didn't want it to be a bad day, rather that we would look back on that day and see how we were merely babies in our marriage. i am SO thankful for those wise words. and now here we stand, TEN YEARS later, and ONLY by the grace of God can i attest to the fact that our wedding day has been the worst day of our marriage. we really were babies in age and in our relationship with each other. getting married so young provided an opportunity for us to grow into ourselves together, or grow into ourselves apart. 20 is young. most people are very different at 20 than they are at 30 ( i can attest, i will be 30 on monday :). the same could be said for us. (random note: katie is only 12 years away from 20, and i kind of puke in my mouth a little thinking about her getting married in 12 years.) i am so glad that we purposefully chose to grow together personally, and in our marriage. not everyday has been as smooth, beautiful, romantic, sweet, and as fun as our wedding day, but our marriage did not stall after we said, "i do!"

and now i will give unsolicited advise as to how i think we have not only survived our ten years of marriage, but have THRIVED through the minutes, hours, days, months and years together!

1. utter dependence on the Lord Jesus Christ to fill us with all that we are lacking, and to stay committed and faithful to each other. i could really stop here. but i'll put some feet on it for you.

2. our time together is valuable. there is a tendency to stop doing things together when the honeymoon phase stops. we get into our routines... girl's night, guys' night, his hobbies, her hobbies, etc.. while these things aren't bad, if the time apart becomes more important then investing in your time together it can begin to wedge the two apart. also, when kids enter the picture there is a tendency to stop doing things together. before we had katie, we were foot loose and fancy free. we wanted to be together all the time. run errands together, grocery shop together, get coffee, go to the movies, etc.. that's A LOT harder to do when children enter the picture. it's easier to send one person. fight the urge and GO TOGETHER.

3. our kids joined the family, they did not become our family. you, my readers know how crazy in love we are with our kids... but it is a well known fact in this house that they are subordinate in the chain of importance. we believe this does not alter their confidence in whom they are in our home, rather it builds confidence in to them. a healthy marriage is the best gift a mom and a dad can give their children.

4. continue to pursue one another and educate yourself about your spouse. i am not married to the same man that i married ten years ago. lots of things about him have changed (thanks to my persuasive means, no doubt ;) totally kidding. if i had not continued to engage my husband, learn about him, watch him, ask non-surface type questions, i would not know him today for who he is. i would have missed out on the incredible person he has continued to become over the past 10 years. i think that's why people say, "i don't love him/her anymore!" they lost each other through all the activities, mundane routines, and distractions this world has to offer.

5. wake up everyday fighting for your marriage! their are spiritual forces of evil that LOOOONNNGG to destroy the sanctity of your marriage. the break down of marriages and families has a long lasting impact on every aspect of this world we live in. the majority of movies, tv shows, books, or any entertainment outlets love to glorify dysfunctional, broken and hurting marriages, addictions, and infidelity. but often times they leave out the domino effect of the overwhelming pain and sorrow that accompany these situations. do not be fooled. protect your heart. protect your spouse's heart from the numbing sensation these powers have on our marriages.

i could write endless blogs about the love of my husband. about how he continually lays down his life for me and our family. how he has positioned me on a pedestal that ensures i compete with no one else and nothing else on this earth. i know that i am everything to him, and in that knowledge lies the most mysterious, romatical, and unending magnetic draw that i have to him. i have been thinking for WEEKS on how to say it best, because words mean everything to me.. and if i had to sum it up in a phrase it would be this, "mark has spent the last ten years beautifying my heart, my soul, my intentions, my motivations, and my very being! he makes me more beautiful!!!"

and the fact that he is mine, makes it all the more stunning...

ten years ago i was a young bride who had no idea where the journey of marriage would leave me. i just knew that i couldn't be without him. today, the love of my husband still makes me feel like the young bride i was on our wedding day. i have seen and tasted where marriage could take me, and without a single doubt in my mind i know i don't want to be without him!