it NEVER gets old...

i know i have talked several times before about how i believe God has created EACH of my children very different and unique. they each possess characteristics that make this family...OURS!  God saw fit to give them to me and Mark and NO ONE ELSE. one of the main reasons that we have chosen for me to remain at home is because we believe it is REALLY important to unravel the mysteries that God has given us in our children. And as we unravel them we are personally equipped to guide them and bring them up according to their own taste buds. knowing them, watching them, studying them, picking their little brains every day, is an amazing blessing!

all that to say, our really good friend, whom also happens to be our Pastor, preached out of Ephesians 6 today.  It is the passage that exhorts children to obey their parents, and to honor them.  Dave, did a fabulous job, (even though he is being given the silent treatment b/c he said the following about kansas,

"If you don't get the humor...Iowa is in the heartland...kind of near Kansas...which is in the middle of everything, 

but not really near to anything!  Most people would not mistake Iowa OR Kansas for heaven...")
 

anyway, at our church the children over the age of 4 sit in during the service.  katie and julia were drawing, coloring, doodling, etc... at one point i looked over and saw my little list maker, katie, writing the following:

if you can't read it it says: "ways to show i love my parents. obey them, help them, care for them, do not back talk, give them hugs and kisses, respect them, pray for them, listen to them, do not lie, share with your sisters and brothers, remember what they say."

anyone that knows katie, knows that this is her!  her sweet spirit is evident in ALL she does.  this little list is one small affirmation that the Holy Spirit is at work in her heart. and that makes this Mama's heart melt.

while, i was reading katie's note and crying *sigh* julia, was busily working on a note of her own:

it says, " daddy you are a stinker. love julia"

i started cracking up in the middle church. this note is SO julia. and julia's note is just as special to me as katie's note.. here is why. both of my girls are trying to pursue relationship with me and mark. katie, through her to-do list, and julia, with her sense of relational connection. julia KNEW that her note would make mark laugh and they would share a silly smile during church. while julia's note didn't have all the touchy, feely, rule following words as katie's... her desire was the same CONNECT with mom and dad.

i had a really bad mom day on friday.  i was snappy with the kids, i hurt katie's feelings particularly, i was distracted and unattached to them all day long.  i was not concerned about their hearts, rather my own selfish comfort.  by the time mark got home i was ready to start looking for a full time job b/c honestly, it sounded nice. sitting in a little cubicle all day long, listening to my itunes, and having adult conversation, and an endless pot of coffee.. that sounded like BLISS :) but i know myself all too well... i would be lost without the companionship of my kids.  i would miss them terribly. not their whining, not their neediness, or their melt downs, but THEM: my katie, my julia, my lucy, my anderson! i would miss unraveling the mysteries of their hearts, their personalities, the quirky little things that make them, THEM!! so for now, i am not resigning from mom-hood... but intentionally trying to live each day with my kids.. it's all going to end way too soon, i am sure of it :)!

~s