Two very real life circumstances this week.....
Mark has been working some crazy hours ( I know that I am not the only woman out there who's husband has to work some crazy hours), Anyway, I was worn down and missing my husband. We went to lunch on Thursday with the 1 hour we had to see him that day. At lunch he asks if it's ok if he works all night the next two nights (Mark is always so considerate to ask me)..... Naturally, I did what every wife does.... I started crying, in the restaurant, with people looking at me. Really, it was fine if Mark needed to work those hours. I want Mark to be a team player.... but I was D.O.N.E. He quickly realized it, called his boss, and has not worked the last two days.*WHEW* If every problem could be solved so easily.
Yesterday, we got up as a family to go to the YMCA. Our new, favorite, place! I woke up feeling totally overwhelmed and selfish. Before my feet even hit the floor I was being told my Katie that Anderson had pooped every where and she needed my help. Julia and Lucy were raiding the kitchen and dumping cheerio's all over the floor. I proceeded to ask Julia when it was that she had lost her brain, and when was it going to return (mature I know!) And the TV had to be on volume 30 million. Bills were waiting for me on the computer, laundry was unfinished down stairs, there were ants having a feast on all the crumbs in the dining room..... D.O.N.E. (So, back to the YMCA). Mark, again, sensing my cranky mood, told me when we got to the Y that he would unload the kids and for me to just go on in. Anderson needed his diaper changed....again, he was poopy. Five minutes into my "i just want to be selfish workout" Mark walked in to the gym with a shoeless Anderson. He couldn't put AJ in the nursery without shoes. In my temper tantrum I had forgot to tell Mark that I had put the keys in the diaper bag, and Mark locked the car and didn't grab the diaper bag, thinking I had the keys. We typically have a spare on the car but Mark hid it so well that we couldn't find it. Off to call Progressive for road side assistance. We sat in the lobby with Andseron and waited on the lock smith. Obviously, I owed Mark and the kids an apology. I laughed and told Mark that God was punishing me for being selfish (BTW, I DO NOT believe this is how God works).... Nonetheless, I needed to pause, reflect, and get over myself.
It's SO easy to look at all of my tasks on any given day and want to crawl back into bed. There is no time to be selfish when you are responsible for the livelihood of 4 small children. Their needs HAVE to come before mine. And for a short season in time it has to be "all about them." This doesn't mean I don't believe in moms getting breaks and taking care of themselves... BUT, when it's between me getting to sit and read a lovely novel, OR cooking dinner for hungry bellies, the obvious choice is food.
Selfless Mom Muscles have to be trained and worked out CONTINUALLY. It's not natural, "to think of others more highly than yourself".... BUT, being a mom is a high calling. And by choosing to have children I have dedicated my heart, my hands, my feet, my will, my determination, with total abandonment to mother; poopy, sometimes brainless, bossy, whiny, wonderfully sweet, special,
God sent, children. It's only in my Savior's unending strength and patience that we have made it these seven years and all of my children are still alive!!
Makes me want to kiss my mother's feet!
My life is not perfect.....BUT it's real.... and I like it :) :)
Happy Weekend,
~s
p.s. the pictures have nothing to do with the post... but I think they are cute.
Loved reading this, looking forward to catching up on the others.
ReplyDeleteThanks Bembi! LOVED having you read it. Hang around for more craziness :)
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