the journey in the storm: part I

if i claim that this blog is about sharing my life and my family's life, than i would be remiss to not share with you the unknown journey that we are on. 3 1/2 years ago my mom was diagnosed with early onset alzheimer's. i desire in NO way to dishonor her or my dad by sharing this with you.  my goal in talking about the disease, it's effect on our family, it's effect on me, is to journal it for myself and maybe just maybe be a place where others can find a familiar story, a sliver of joy, comfort, laughter, and hope. remember this is MY journey. what i share here is life through MY eyes. not my mom's, not my dad's, not my sibling's, not her family, or her friend's. i can not speak for them... BUT i know that we share many similar thoughts and feelings.

here is my very first mass email that i wrote to friends and family earlier this year:

7/26/10

there was a storm headed our way yesterday.  myself and the kids were standing inside watching the trees bow at the mercy of the wind.  they were commenting on how cool it was. i told them it was MUCH cooler if you stood outside and felt the wind whirl around your body.  so, with that we all marched outside to stand in the storm. you can't comprehend the power of a storm unless you actually get to stand in the middle of one. they all recognized while standing inside that something powerful was going on outside, but it wasn't until we were outside that they could feel with their own bodies the power of the storm. all of their hair, or lack of hair in lucy's case, was being turned and tossed.  anderson lost his balance several times as he tried to chase the wind.  julia and lucy kept coming in and out of the house shouting their warnings, "i hear thunder! are you sure it's safe? i hear thunder!" katie, who has matured into being able to trust us at our word, knew that it was safe b/c i was standing out in the middle of the storm WITH her.  she was able to use all of her senses in experiencing the storm b/c she trusted my discernment. if it would have become dangerous i would have ushered us inside. but there was no need for that.  so we enjoyed it.... the rain began to pour out like buckets, the wind would gush and still as the front moved through, and the kids played in the company of the storm.

my mom always says that you are about to enter one of life's storms, you are in the middle of a storm, or you are coming out of a storm!  we ALL have storms, don't we?

one storm that we as a family are currently facing is my mom's diagnoses of alzheimer's. it's a bad storm. a storm that at times, has felt like is has swallowed us whole and spit us out for fish food. but we as a large family unit have a resolve to LIVE in the storm.  we are aware of the storms danger, of its natural consequences, of the possible damage it will ensue.... but we chose to live! day by day.. moment by moment... we are going to try and chose laughter, dancing, celebrating, remembering, high-fiving, because we all understand the Company and His discernment. His company is good, always good.  And if it gets dangerous He will usher us inside.  but in the meantime, we are going to try and use ALL of our senses to experience the power of the storm and grow wildly stronger b/c of it.

if you think of it, pray for my sweet Mama. pray that love and encouragement will sustain her.  pray for my Dad, for a reservoir of strength and patience!  pray for us kids to be able to meet needs, while some of us are near and some of us are far.  pray that we will ALL grow wildly stronger in this storm!!

enjoy the pics of the kiddos playing in the storm!
~s