contrary to popular belief children do not remain neutral. they feel things, they are affected by crisis, stress, change, joy, etc.. they can not, just like adults, walk through something "unscathed". we dumb down human life when we say, "oh, the kids are too young to understand (fill in the blank)" or "they'll never remember (fill in the blank)." we are naive, and well, altogether foolish when we don't acknowledge the super, amazing, workings of a little persons brain and emotions. they are far more complex and far deeper than the ocean. most of the time people say those things b/c they hope they are true. they would rather their children not be affected by their bad choices or behaviors. they say things like, "they seem unaffected", "they are acting like themselves", "they say nothing is wrong" etc...etc... but when we take the time to listen to our kids, to really watch our kids, to have a foundation to determine if their acting out of sync, or different, then we can educate ourselves about how life happenings even effect the littlest of beings.
as i was falling asleep last night i was thinking how totally weird it was that i was falling asleep in kansas. in a house that makes noises that are unfamiliar and creepy to me. but then it hit me how MUCH more weird it was for the kids. the kids are majorly out-of-sync. the last 8 weeks of their lives have been a roller coaster. between packing, moving, unpacking, i have been a lot less "available" than normal. consequently, ever one is responding to the changes...
katie- anyone who remembers katie's infancy knows she could care less about being held. she never wanted to be rocked, swung, cuddled, ANYTHING. she wanted us to let her go as soon as she was birthed :) mark and i routinely force cuddle time with her. she wiggles, giggles, and is totally uncomfortable most of the time. so, dear future husband of katie's, i hope your love language is not physical touch, b/c good luck to you! anyway, since moving to kansas, katie has requested LOTS of cuddle and "hold me" time. this from the girl who is about to turn eight in a matter of days, whose legs just dangle when held, and who never in her whole life has wanted to be held. this request is not lost on me. through blurry, teary, exhausted, eyes, i have tried to not miss an opportunity to hold her and cuddle her as we embark on a HUGE change and journey with her. her request communicates to me, her mama, that she is more uncertain, unsteady, insecure, and unsettled than ever before. katie is an old soul. she can answer questions about her emotions with ease and clarity. but as of late, there have been fewer words and a stronger need for cuddles. besides the first two weeks of her life, i have never with such urgency and diligence prayed for, with, and over my katie bug. new feet is being placed on my faith when i pray, "Go with her dear God, do not leave her, do not forsake her, be NEAR her!" because on monday at 8:40 am for the first time in eight years, i will NOT go with her. i will NOT be near her, and while my heart breaks a little for what i am losing with her, i KNOW without a doubt, that this is what the Lord has for her RIGHT now, this year, 2011-2012. please pray with us and for us.
happy thursday, ( first back to school night as MOM :),
~s
p.s. tomorrow i'll continue with the bean.
Sara Suz - I couldn't agree with you more about the impact life has on little ones. I don't believe that children are "resilient", as so many people say. I do believe that, while they may be too little to truly understand, they are not too little to FEEL the change, the stress, the worry, the fear ... just as they FEEL the joy, the happiness, the love. I am so excited for you to be MOM with Kate for this year - you have been an invaluable first teacher and you have set a standard that may not be attainable by others. :) This year is going to be a grand adventure for your whole family - and what a grand adventure for my family that you're in Kansas to embark upon it! Love you!
ReplyDelete