a sibling no, no!

if you have been hanging around lj life and literature long you know that i am completely in love with my siblings!! not a day passes that i am not in contact with one of the four.. via phone, text, email. i pride myself on having a pretty solid relationship with all four of my siblings. i'd like to think after nearly 30 years i know them. i know parts of their lives that no one else will ever get to share with them. it's like this forever relationship.. one that goes way back, and the promise of it never ending. there is something incredibly special about having siblings. so incredible in fact, that i believe the GREATEST gift i have ever given my children is the gift of each other. my parents did an amazing job instilling relationship amongst our family. family ALWAYS came first. so much so that my dad did not lead a christmas eve service b/c the my mom's side of the family had a long standing tradition of being together on christmas eve. my dad took that seriously. i forever cherish that decision. there was never ANY question about who came first for my mom and dad. it was ALWAYS family.. work or family? church or family? sports or family? comfort or family? convenience or family? elders meetings or family? money or family? the answer was ALWAYS family. being together and sharing with one another was never optional for us. i remember zach and andrew fighting over cd's and sweater vests, but it ended as quick as it began. i remember dumping baby oil all over my sisters clothes and ruining them b/c she was dating some guy, and i felt extremely left out. i remember arguing over who got to sit shot gun, and what music we were going to listen too.. but again, these matters were never allowed to linger long. the older i got the rule was, "you can do anything you want as long as you are with one of your siblings!" you better believe i longed to be in my siblings presence! and to this day i LONG to be in the presence of my siblings.

after julia was born i was terrified of raising two girls who were so close in age. my sister and i were seven years apart, so we HARDLY ever fought. there was never competition between us, she really took me under her wing and raised me. as i expressed to mark my concerns he said, "strife amongst our children is not going to be an option, it won't be allowed under our roof!"   and since then, that has been the rule of thumb when it comes to our children interacting with one another. sibling rivalry, hateful speech, hateful actions, are met with the most severe of consequences and punishment. sibling rivalry begins when the second child comes home from the hospital. from the time we brought julia home from the hospital the message to katie was, "love her. encourage her. be her best friend. nothing else is acceptable." so when the "my's, the me's, the gimme's" began to emerge, the fire was swiftly put out. everyday, all day long, we encourage our kids, "to think of their siblings more highly then themselves!"(romans 12:10) putting feet on that means julia letting lucy go first; katie letting julia borrow her most prized possession; lucy giving anderson her last sweet tart; mama giving daddy the softer towel, or the biggest piece of steak; daddy letting mama rest and taking over the bed time routine. there are endless opportunities to apply this verse. and when even a hint of strife, hatefulness, ugliness, disrespect, selfishness, rears it's head.... mama and daddy have the opportunity to reinforce the Littlejohn rule of thumb. we tell the kids ALL the time, the reason you have to share with each other, stand up for each other, watch out for each other, protect each other, encourage each other, is because you are called to do it for the REST of your lives. these formative concepts spill over into other relationships. if katie can't share with julia, who is her very flesh and blood, how in the world is she going to learn to share with her room mate, her husband, a stranger, or even her children? if julia refuses to protect lucy in public situations, how is julia going to learn what loyalty and conviction looks like in any other relationship? if we can't celebrate each others successes as a family, how are my children going to learn how to be genuinely excited for others? relationship 101 is being taught in our home day in and day out. no, it's not perfect. yes, the kids argue and fight. yes, i realize that someday i will have a 16,14, 12, and 10 year old in my home and things will come up. but, no, no, no, it will not be tolerated for one second.

they WILL love each other, and they WILL have fun! :)

i know without a doubt that i can call on any of my siblings at ANY time and they will do whatever i need. without question, without hesitation. if i told them all i needed them here tomorrow, they would be here. i have no doubt that my siblings would go to the end of the earth for me, and that is the most special feeling in the WHOLE entire world!

i just pray that my kids receive as many blessings from each other as i have received from jonathan, joanna, andrew, and zach!

here's to a CD and sweater vest sharing kind of day,
~s