Living in the Storm: Healing Words!

about a month ago i was having one of those really sad days. hard days. crawl back in bed and find a happy place, days. why me, kind of days. why my mom, kind of days. why this disease, kind of days. i was in bed crying myself to sleep. mark was still up and came in to see if there was anything he could do. he also said i should get up and come read this really encouraging message that just came in. i begrudgingly went.. then i just sat and the computer and read and reread the words of this message:

The main reason I am sending you this note is because I am the store manager of a kids store at Oak Park Mall. Most mornings I get to work btwn 8am and 830am. I always stop at Panera to grab a bagel and a drink and many mornings I see your parents and their small group! :) For such a long time it was just part of my normal routine and seeing them was very familiar. Then you posted a blog awhile back about your mothers illness and from then on my mornings have been forever changed! I have never spoken to your parents; I am not sure they would recognize me. But each morning that I see them sitting there or even walking into the mall together I am completely humbled by your fathers unwavering love and devotion to your mother and their faithfulness to their small group. I say a quick prayer for them each time I see them. For I know that the God we serve is a sovereign God and although the losses in our lives are hard to bear they are His will. I lost my father to a long battle with cancer 3 years ago and I miss him so much sometimes I can't breathe, but God had a plan for his life. He was such an amazing testimony to others by the way he lived his life and the choices he made. I wanted you to know that your parents have been such a great testimony to me and also to the other people who see them regularly at Panera. Their actions, however, small have made waves of impact on those around them!
I hope that you are doing well, and I  wanted you to know that you and your family are in my prayers every week! 

dear friend, thank you for allowing the Spirit to lead you to write this letter. your words brought such healing to my soul on that very sad day!

while i read this letter, my sweet, Jesus, whispered in my ear over and over again, "i am bigger then this. i am bigger then your pain. i am bigger then the grief. i came so that you, sara suzanne hall littlejohn, could have LIFE.... real life. and right now this storm is a part of what I am doing! be still. come to Me when you are weary, and I will give you rest! I am in this storm. I am intimately aware of it. I am here. I can not leave you to yourself, my character will not allow it."

thank you, mark adam, for walking through this grief with me. for not giving up on me when the sadness penetrates our days together. thank you for simply doing what it is you have been called to do; love me.

loving a grieving spouse can be one of the most helpless feelings in the world. trust me, the first 18 months of our marriage was bombarded with grief. (click here for that story) grief can shake a marriage to it's core, leaving spouses feeling lonely and totally out of touch with their closest companion. grief also has the ability to deepen ties in a marriage, and enforce the the relationship like no other event.

grief touches every one's life at some point. my mom always says, "you are either getting ready to go into a storm, are in a the middle of a storm, or coming out of a storm."

i hope that today you are preparing yourself for the storms of life!

~s