if the name imogene herdman is not familiar to you stop whatever you are doing, go to the local library, and check out the book, " The Best Christmas Pageant Ever" by Barbara Robinson. are you back yet? did you read yet?
ok, so quick synopses for those that can't read that fast. the book is about a family of six kids that are the town bullies. they are totally rotten and out of control. dad is in jail and mom works all the time to keep food on the table. the are sooo bad that even the town animals are scared of them. anyway, they take over the christmas pageant b/c they bully everybody into given up their pageant parts... imogene is the ring leader. she is the meanest and most hardened of the herdman children. anyway, it is a fabulous read... you won't regret it.
i was substitute teaching piano lessons last night and in through the door walked my imogene (imogene is not her real name) this young lady was so guarded, so aggressive, and so hardened that she could hardly stand to look me in the eye. i pride myself on being able to work well with children. i LOVE kids. i love building relationships with kids. i LOVE interacting with kids. so i started my well rehearsed cycle of questions to help myself and imogene get to know one another and settle in to a nice, calm, very lovely 60 minutes of learning about the beautiful instrument called the piano. (boy, was i wrong!)
me: hey, imogene, i'm sara i am here substitute teaching tonight. is that going to be ok?
Imogene: whatever.
me: ok, swell. tell me what grade you are in imogene.
Imo: 3rd, ugh.
me: cool. what's your favorite thing about school.
imo: nothing, i hate everything about it. i hate math, i hate science, i hate spelling, i hate english, i hate history...
me: really? everything? even recess and lunch?
imo: yep, everything.
me: ok, since you don't like school, what do you like to do when you aren't at school. (i am looking for common ground here, something she and i can talk more about.)
imo: i sit on my butt and watch tv all the day long. *long pause* and then she glances at the piano and says, "and for some reason i am beginning to like this thing."
me: (thinking: awe, we DO have something in common!)
me: (thinking: oh wow! this is going to be a bit harder then i anticipated!) ok, what's your favorite show to watch.
imo: sponge bob.
me: (thinking: whew! i was afraid she was going to say MTV or HBO.)
me: ok, well... let's see how we do on the piano tonight.
imo: ugh, fine.
throughout the lesson imogene "knew everything". every new concept i tried to introduce she already "knew that." not really but she did a pretty decent job of trying to convince me.
we got to a part in the music where she was learning forte which means loud, and piano which means soft.
me: ok, imogene, when we talk about something being forte i want you to think about playing something that is being said very loudly... like "go team", "hurray!", "great job!" etc..etc.. can you think of something that you would loudly say?
imogene: "SHUT UP!"
me: oh, wow.. so, let's think of something else.
imogene: i can't think of something else...
me: ok, moving on.
imogene actually did a great job playing her assigned pieces. i believe in the power of affirmation. so, i complimented her A LOT. at one point she stopped in the middle of a song dropped her hands to her lap and said, "why do you keep telling me good job!?"
me: well, i think you are playing really well and i want you to know it.
imo: but why?
me: because i want to encourage you.
imo: what does that mean?
me: it means i want you to feel good about your playing b/c it sounds good.
imo: why would you do that?
me: let's just keep playing.. and just know i think you are doing a good job.
imo: could you please stop saying that?
me: ok, i will.
in the span of 60 short minutes imogene told endless lies, interrupted more times then one can count, felt like she needed to bully me a little, and was endlessly trying to prove something to me. i kept working with her. not even for one split second letting on to the fact i was losing my cool... i kept thinking, "what would zach do, what would zach do?" i used my calm, gentle voice. i was stern but never mean.. i looked her in the eyes and used her name over and over again to personalize the words coming out of my mouth. by the end of the painful 60 minutes i was able to get her to look me in the eyes, i managed to make her laugh, AND she actually listened to me.. however brief it was. she left with a smile on her face.. and a quick, "thank you!"
i spent the rest of the night thinking about her. one might think that i was frustrated, maybe even exasperated by imogene. one might think, "what a rotten little girl!" one might think, "kick her out of class and get a new student!" some of those thoughts went through my head.. but i am no fool. i know all too well that hurt people, hurt people. this girl little is guarding herself so tightly, bullying so aggressively, because she doesn't want to let anyone get near enough to her, in fear that they might get a glimpse of the deep, dark, painful secrets she is carrying around. she is hurting so badly on so many levels that she could not even receive a genuine compliment without disgust.
i began to cry thinking, "what if my katie was in the same class room as imogene? how would katie respond? would my katie love her? would my katie be bullied and broken by her?" tears, tears, tears.. then i began to think, "what is this little girl living through everyday? what battles are her little heart and little body up against?" it broke me into a million pieces on the inside.
after a good cry i decided to do the only thing that i could do, i prayed for little imogene. for her heart, her her home, for her brain, for her fingers that glided against the ivory and ebony keys, and i prayed, and prayed, and prayed.
would you join me today and say a simple pray for imogene? i know that she desperately needs it! i will be so grateful if you do!!
~s
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