Littlejohns Don't Keep Secrets

over the past few weeks mark and  i have been tossing around an idea that i first read about in one of my all time favorite parenting books, "One Tough Mother" by Julie Barnhill. it's this idea that we have a family creed, statements that our family strives to live by. ideally, mark would use his amazing painting skills and paint them on our dining room walls for all to see. since, we don't have a dining room wall to call our own maybe we will put them on canvases and tote them around with us from home to home until we "settle".  any who, the point is to use these as a means to build unity, purpose, and identity within the intimate relationship of our family. we've talked to the kids about it and over the past few weeks we've begun to come up with a few.

here is a sneak peek

Littlejohn means small porta-potty (this is a family inside joke and probably wouldn't make the cut, but it's fun to dream:)
Littlejohns always forgive
Littlejohns always extend grace
Littlejohns always share good things with others
Littlejohns choose silliness over seriousness
Littlejohns don't chase youth
Littlejohns have worth because of WHO they are not WHAT they do
Littlejohns love
Littlejohns are loyal
Littlejohns honor one another above themselves
Littlejohns only use bathroom words at home
Littlejohns never say never (a little bieber shout out)
Littlejohns welcome ALL into their home
Littlejohns keep surprises not secrets

you get the idea, right? the kids have randomly been adding some of their motto's along the way. i can not wait for the project to begin and to see how it grows and changes over the life of our family.

the last creed i listed was one i thought of this week. julia wanted a diary for her birthday, and since Grammy and Poppo faithfully came through with a Barnes and Noble gift card we were able to get her one. as we shopped i noticed lots of diaries had the word SECRET printed all over the cover.  now, i am all about people being able to journal, write personal stories, thoughts, prayers, hopes, dreams, crushes, etc...etc... but i want my kids to understand from a very young age that within the four walls of our home our "secrets" are absolutely 100% safe when they exposed. their dreams, fears, struggles, triumphs, are to be taken seriously and held with the utmost importance.  i want my kids to understand that there are dangers and pitfalls in the isolation of secrets.

consequently, that means that mark and i are striving to live transparent lives in front of our children. it means that we answer tough questions with honesty. we don't turn away from questions like, "Mama, if you and Daddy are killed in a tornado what do we do?" we don't give our children a lame answer filled with false hope like, "oh baby, don't worry about that, that will never happen". we have learned to never say "that will never happen". we answer with truth and love, "oh baby, that would be such a sad and scary day, but Mama and Daddy have made plans that if we both die that our families would step in and take care of all of you! And no matter WHAT happens you will never be alone in this world!"

i don't turn away from questions like, "Mama, is Grammy's boo-boo ever going to get better? Mama, why are you crying? Mama, why do people have to ask for money on the side of the street? Mama, what does abortion mean? Mama, do you ever get scared? Mama, how did Uncle Joshua die? Mama, why did Susie's parents decide to stop loving each other?" and on and on the list goes. i understand that the older my kids become the harder and deeper those questions become. but i am hell bent on being forthright with my kids. i want them to know that i have struggled and continue to struggle with junk that life throws my way. sometimes i am overwhelmed with fear, sometimes i am so sad i don't want to get out of bed, sometimes raising them is extremely painful and lonely, sometimes (a lot of times) i am a very selfish person who wants only what i want, i have done things in my past that i am embarrassed about and i have every intention of telling them about those mistakes so that together we can help them avoid those same errors.

it ain't always going to be pretty, but we are determined to tear down the walls of generational sin that plague our lives and offer our children total access into our past, present, and future heart stories.

above all, i want our children to know that they are being raised by really screwed up parents who are limping along trying to make sense of all that comes our way. we are broken and totally fallible, but in our brokenness we want to offer them truth and love that is only found in our unchanging, totally reliable, infallible, the very definition of Truth and Love; Redeemer, Yahweh, Savior, Almighty, Emmanuel, King of Kings, Prince of Peace, Savior..... Jesus!!
~s