calm my anxious heart...

some of my alone time with jesus went a little like this these past few days.

Day 1
me: " i have nothing to say, nothing to offer except a lot of anxiety, frustration, and incomplete, hormonal nonsense"
God: "cast all of your anxiety on Me, Sara, I care for you more than you can comprehend! i created your hormonal nonsense and can make perfect sense of it, you don't have to utter a word" 1 Peter 5:7, Psalm 139


Day 2
me; "i have nothing to say, nothing to offer except a lot of anxiety, frustration and incomplete hormonal nonsense"
God: "Sara, aren't your tired? does carrying around all of this worry do anything except make you sleep deprived and weighed down? you were not made to shoulder these things alone. please lay them down and come to me and rest" Proverbs 12:25, Matthew 11:28

Day 3
me: " i have nothing to say, nothing to offer except a lot of anxiety, frustration and incomplete hormonal nonsense"
God: "Sara, the anxious thoughts in your heart are being fed and are growing as you function independently  from Me and try and combat this on your own. Let me console your soul. Delight in my consolations!" Psalm 94:19

i am humbled that i serve a God who continually meets me right where i am. He does not ask me to read some more self help books, or enroll in some "do better-be better" conferences. rather, He pursues my aching heart and offers me a healing agent; Himself. He deals gently and intimately with me. He is not stand-off-ish, but uncomfortably involved.

He is not intimated nor thrown for a loop with my frustrations or questions. He does not panic when I feel insecure in my relationship with Him.

He knows the hurt and disappointment when medical interventions do not seem helpful to the human eye....

BUT!

He does not do good... He IS good.
He does not show love.. He DEFINES love.

who am I that He should show such mercy on my putrid heart?
i am blessed beyond all measure.
~s