Let's Talk About Sex, BA-BY!

The last time we discussed sex (outside of my little one liners) on the blog was HERE. That was two and a half years ago. I figure it's time for another round of candid truth talk.

Last night we were once again invited to a "show" put on my our dear children. Last night's performance was entitled "Country Fun!" And it was F.U.N. Here is a picture of our invitation and the poster for the program.

My two favorite parts of the show were when Anderson slid his finger down his hanging tongue during this part of the song, "Her daddy said he ain't worth a lick". HI.LAR.I.OUS! My second favorite part was the invitation, it read, "Dad we would like to invite you to a play tonight called, "Country Fun" at 6:15pm in the living room staring the Lj kids. The couch is reserved for u and mom. We ask that all cell phones be put on vibrate and no K-I-S-S-I-N-G! Thank you for your patience in reading this. ~ The Lj Kids

The poster also noted, "NO WAY KISSING" by Lucy and  "PS NO NO Kissing!" by Katie

As you can imagine, Mark and I are among the worst of rule keepers when it comes to our children's no PDA demands. In the past, we have over exaggerate our kissing when commanded not to kiss, and the whole room explodes in shrieks. Any performers dream come true :)!

These requests got me thinking about the importance of parents displaying their affection in front of their kids.  The truth is, our kids aren't grossed out by our kissing, rather their innocent souls crave to know that we are in love. Which obviously got me to thinking about why the ongoing and open conversation about sex is vital in these developing years with our kids.

From the beginning, Mark and I have said if they are old enough to ask the question than they are old enough to get an answer. Katie was all of six years old when she asked us, "What does abortion mean?" Anderson was three when he asked, "Do babies come out of Mama's bottoms like poop?" This is real life. Deserving real answers.

Sex is real life. Every outlet available to your child is ready and willing to blanket them with their opinions and ideals regarding this fragile and sacred topic. So why is it that inwardly we want to run away from this conversation and cover our own adult heads with a blanket? The moment we decide that sex is going to be a hush-hush conversation surrounded by locked doors and embarrassing giggles, is the moment we give permission to our kids to keep secrets under lock and key, regarding not only sex, but all things.

I am not suggesting that we inappropriately expose our children to the precious happenings in the marriage bed, but rather in age appropriate ways address the beautiful, and hopefully never-ending marriage activity. I told Mark just the other day, "At some point it is going to dawn on our children what it means when our bedroom door is locked late in the evening or early on Saturday morning, and when that glorious day comes we are going to LIVE IT UP!"

I want our kids to know without a shadow of a doubt mom and dad have amazing sex on a regular basis. As a child I knew that about my parents and it was well....comforting! (Pretty sure Zach and Andrew just threw up in their mouths) Again, if the only place our children see sex glorified is through the world's eyes, we have FAILED! So much sweeter for them to see sex elevated and protected in the confines of a covenant marriage.

I know that sex is an awkward conversation, but a wise man by the name of Kevin Leman points out, how much more awkward will the conversation be when your sixteen year old daughter becomes a mother, or your sixteen year old son becomes a father. Have the conversation, earlier rather than later. And don't stop having the conversation.

I'll never forget, just days before I got married my mom earnestly wanted to talk to me about sex. A topic she and I did not explore together on a regular basis. God love the baby boomers, but this just was not their forte'. We can't blame them though, their parents (our grandparents) didn't just cover their heads with blankets, they layered on the quilts. So cheers for the baby boomers who actually wanted to address it.  Anyway, my mom described sex to me in a way I think she knew I would understand, "Sara, do you remember the first time you picked up a basketball?" Me, "Yes, mom!" In my head, "Sweet mother, this is actually happening!" Mom continues, "Well, I remember you weren't very good, but over time and with much practice, you became a very good basketball player. Bottom line, don't quit practicing together. It will only get better!" I replied, "Thanks, Mom!" In my head, "Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop!" After our honeymoon nightmare (another story for another blog) Mark and I determined to NEVER stop talking to people (specifically our children) about sex.

I am pretty sure the Song of Solomon has some of the most sexually explicit material I have ever read, and that is not a mistake.

So let's together, one layer at a time, pull the blankets (some of you have quilts) off our heads and engage our very worthy children in one of the most exciting and tender conversations ever to take place!

Happy peeling! (in more ways than one, *wink-wink*)
~Sara