The Bitter in Bitter-Sweet

"To live is to hurt, and we all have the wounds to prove it!" Dan Allender, The Healing Path

It's that time of year when we come out of hibernation and the increase of boo-boo's is exponential. Easily 4-6 scraps, bumps, skids, falls, and wipe outs a day. The other day as I was wearing my nurse hat, Anderson sobbed, "why all of the sudden am I getting boo-boo's all the time?"  I told him it was because he had so many more opportunities to get boo-boo's because he is playing outside all day now that ole' man winter FINALLY moved on.

In a rare but still moment the other day I asked God the same question, "Lord, why all of the sudden is my heart getting boo-boo's all the time?" And it dawned on me it is the same reason Anderson has more boo-boo's in the summer than in the winter; there are more opportunities. The more you allow your heart to open up to people, love, loyalty, and community, it is a guarantee there will be an increase in pain. A very wise man by the name of George Verwer once said, "where two or more are gathered there will be a mess!" Awe, reality.

In Dan Allender's book, The Healing Path, Dan does a beautiful job of describing the choices we make in response to the inevitably pain we experience. Some of us run. Some of us go numb. Some of us shut down in order to never feel pain again. Some get angry at the pain and take it out on others, because hurt people hurt people. Some retreat. Some fight back. Some ignore the pain entirely. Some of us kick and scream the entire way. Some stuff the pain down deep inside hoping to forget it ever existed, only one day to snap and choke on the vomit of the past.  But some very brave and astute people actually acknowledge, process, and make themselves vulnerable to the pain; eyes wide open, fully attentive to what pain might have to teach them.

In the story of Hinds' Feet on High Places, Much-Afraid is called to take a journey with two companions, Suffering and Sorrow. She responds, "I can't go with them," she gasped. "I can't. I can't. O my Shepherd, why do you do this to me? How can I travel in their company? It is more than I can bear. You tell me that the mountain way itself is so steep and difficult that I cannot climb it alone. Then why, oh why, must you make Sorrow and Suffering my companions. Couldn't you have given Joy and Peace to go with me, to strengthen me, and encourage me and help me on this difficult way. I never thought you would do this to me!"

And that is where most of us are when we first find ourselves on the dance floor with Suffering and Sorrow. Begging that this too shall pass, unaware that within the sweet confines of precious pain there is purpose.

Today, I stand confident that it is ONLY because of Suffering and Sorrow I am who I am today. God has poured out his GREAT mercy by calling me to the sacred road of pain. For I am entranced by the Savior and Good Shepherd I meet on that road. I will never forget the endless encounters He and I have had on the desert path. Me, with my dirty, unworthy face to the ground, seemingly parched from all goodness, and He showering me and cleansing me with unending living water. And when that cool, refreshing, renewing, water hits the gaping, bleeding wounds of my heart and soul, how I cannot help but not gasp with all that is within me, "HOLY, HOLY, HOLY!"

Here is to our companions, Suffering and Sorrow!
~Sara

Some pics of my precious boo-boo man!