SaraLittlejohn.com: The Sweet in Bitter-Sweet

It's no secret that the anticipation of Mother's Day was hanging heavy on my heart. I was pretty much dreading it. After 30 years of celebrating your mother on Mother's Day, what do you do on the 31st year and she is not there? Obviously, I had lots of other AMAZING women to celebrate on Mother's Day, including but not limited to; my mother-in-law, my sister, my sister-in-law, and all the mom's around me who make me the mother I am.

With a little bit of planning and some pre-game and post-game crying, the day was such a sweet, sweet, day!! We went to the zoo. Well.... because it's only fitting that you celebrate your motherhood a midst wild animals and a wild group of classy ~~and not so classy~~ humans. The zoo made me grateful to be raising MY children, MY way, in MY clothes... Ahem.

We laughed, we hugged, we did a little sea lion dance, we rode the carousel, we grilled, we soaked up the sun, we did a kangaroo hop, and we just WERE. Right where we needed to be, doing exactly what our hearts needed us to be doing on a very hard holiday. Sometimes grief needs you to hear it calling. Sometimes grief needs you to change your plans so that it can continue its course. Sometimes, for a season, you have to allow grief to dictate your days. Sometimes, grief needs you to be a little selfish.

After the zoo we went to the park for a barbecue, but not before having a tire blow out on the highway. If ten years of parenting hasn't taught you to be flexible and make the most of every situation (planned or unplanned), than you are a hopeless case indeed. While Shrek Two was blaring in the mini-van movie speakers; I, in a hot orange t-shirt, jean shorts, mama bun, and sun-glasses was very persuasively waving the speeding cars to the other side of the highway to protect my very handsome handy man while he used his massive muscles to change our deflated tire. It's a miracle no children were conceived after such alluring behavior on the side of K-10.

Then, after we got home I received such a perfect gift from the best friend and photographer a girl could ask for. It was a little bit of a sucker punch, but to be fair she did warn me it was coming. :) And for those of you not a facebook, here is the image that stole the day...

This picture was taking on my birthday just seven months ago. Forty nine short days before Mama went to see Jesus.

It says everything I couldn't say yesterday.

This picture and the pictures below are definitely the "sweet" of a very bitter sweet day!

Thank you for your texts, your calls, your thoughts, your prayers, your emails, (for Sunday's off), and your posts. Once again, they carried us through.

It was hard to hear grief, to change our plans, to allow something invisible to boss us around, and to be a little selfish in the name of grief. But looking back, I am so glad I listened.

Happy to be a mother.
Happy to have my husband's mother.
Happy to have a sister who has been mothering me for 31 years, while simultaneously becoming my best friend.
Happy to have a sister-in-law who loves with such a genuine love.
Happy to have friends who are mothers, and who won't let go of me despite me.
And with buckets of tears, I am speechless to have had a mother who cherished, nourished, and loved me the way she did!!
~Sara

Mom's beautiful bench