Today, we made quite a spectacle of ourselves in the Walmart card section. (Side note: if ever again I have an entire day all to myself, I plan to spend it in a Hallmark store and at Barnes and Noble.) Any who, there we all were looking for a graduation card for a very special graduate in our life. Now that I have three additional readers everyone wants to volunteer to look for the perfect card too. I am all about helpers, so I gave them some friendly card rules. You cannot pick a card that has the word happiness, success, or dreams in it. Have you looked for a graduation card lately? That rule is extremely difficult to follow. While perusing, Julia said something to the effect of, "Mom, every card has those words in it, why is it that we can't use a card with those words?" Which, provided me the opportunity to have a long narrative in the Walmart aisle about why we are avoiding those words. To all the innocent bystanders who heard me on my soap box, you can send me a check in the mail for your daily inspirational, spiritually inclined, life coach moment. Your welcome.
The reason? Well, I struggle with wishing anyone happiness. Really? With all the amazing words at our disposal we tend to default to this extremely cheesy, shallow, and non-meaningful word. If I am wishing a graduate from high school a future full of happiness, I am not being honest enough with myself or the graduate about what lies ahead. If all I want for this sweet girl is happiness than my "wish" will come to a dead end on the first day of college, when syllabus shock sets in, homesickness consumes her, and some alpha-pi-omega-delta-something-or-other sorority girl offers her a plate of cafeteria food as a consolation prize. "Happiness" will get her about as far as wishing on a star. I also avoid the word happiness in wedding cards, because wishing a couple happiness gets them a one way ticket to a front row seat of a self absorb, short term, ever alluding understanding of real-life-marriage!
Life is so much bigger and so much more beautiful than happiness. One of my best friend's has continually reminded me during these past seven months, "God is far more concerned about your character than He is about making you comfortable!" A to the MEN!! The last seven months have been the furthest definition of "happiness" anyone can imagine, but never before has the molding and shaping of my character been more solidified than in this "unhappiness".
We have baited a whole generation (or two) into believing it is all about them and their happiness, success, and dreams. Want to know why marriages are failing at an exponential rate? Want to know why suicide rates keep climbing? Want to know why unemployment is at an all time high? Because people have thrown themselves into a life long, frantic, cycle of searching in the darkness with a blind fold on for this mysterious fulfillment of happiness that will never arrive, only to then be left with disappointment, depression, and disillusionment and no tools to navigate the remainder of their lives. The absence of happiness, success, and dreams is not a horrible life without hope, it's a real life that is being filled up and satisfied with tangible, eternal, and precious jewels.
Minus the words, happiness, success, and dreams; here is my message to our graduate!
Sweet Claire,
Mark and I pray that you will love Jesus above all else. That you will allow Him to prove Himself faithful to you during this next season of life. The road ahead is not necessarily marked with roses in bloom; you might hurt, you might feel the sting of betrayal, there might be days when you are wrapped in sadness missing what once was. And that's ok. At some point, you will want to quit and walk away from life altogether (especially after you flunk your first college test :) But in that moment, please know that you are loved, you are valued, (you always have been) and you are fully equipped to take every step ahead of you.
If you fall, fall on Him.
If the road gets blurry and confusion sets in, seek out Truth; run to it, fill your mind with it, stand upon it!
Call your Mom and Dad.
Avoid the greek drama and don't pay for friends, real friends are free.
Go home, but not too much.
You are perfectly lovely and you have what it takes!!
Now go on with yourself and go rock that college thing.
All of our love,
Mark, Sara, Katie, Julia, Lucy and Anderson
Claire with Mark 15 years ago at Mark's graduation
Fifteen years later, Claire!!
All grown up
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