The Very Bad Breakup

For so long I have felt like things were off between us, like you were WAY more into me than I was into you. And for real, you far too CO-DE-PEN-DENT on our relationship. You want to be with me all the time and I am like, "Hey, I've got to have some space, you are smothering me!" I think about you way too often, and admittedly I am definitely not innocent when it comes to feeding into the unhealthy relationship we have going on here. I try and try and try to avoid you, but it seems as if you are EVERYWHERE! Like, you are in creepy stalker mode. And so today I am ending it. Yep, that's right we are breaking up. O.V.E.R. All you ever do is take and take and take, and the only thing you leave behind is misery and discontentment.  And the longer we are together the more ungrateful I become. And the more ungrateful I become I see the real me fading into conversations of entitlement. And the more I've thought about this moment, you and I parting ways, I realize more clearly than ever, you are toxic.

You ruin everything. You zap any and all beauty from this mundane randomness I call my precious life. You have broken my heart, left me all alone to battle sleepless nights, tossing and turning without reprieve, and you have dumped more stress on my poor body than it can physically contain (just ask my chiropractor).
And just like Isaiah says, I have trusted in the oppression of your presence for far, far, too long (Isaiah 30:12). You have no empathy. You have no desire to strengthen me, rather you strip me naked of any hope and walk away laughing. You are the worst kind of domestic abuser, but there is no counselor, no therapy, no feel good pill that makes you suddenly disappear. You have to be cut off in the strictest of manners with no room for negotiation. I desperately long for my children to remember their childhood free of YOU!

Like every toxic relationship, I am sure you will try and return to me dressing yourself up with lies and skin deep beauty, but I am prepared for your deceptive ways. I have called in an army per-say, to hold you off. I am determined. I will not be persuaded to return to your house of horror. I know it is impossible for me to take this on, on my own. I know I will fail, I know I will mess up, I know that I will want to return to you with a vicious lust. I know you will call to me when I am vulnerable and frustrated, but it is not about me any more. So it is by the undivided attention of grace and grace alone, I will never be held victim by you again.

 Tonight, and until I take my final breath; with no regret at all, I say goodbye to you, destructive Spirit of Complaint!
~Sara
P.S. "We are never, never, never, getting back together...... As in NEVER!!" ~ Taylor Swift