Living In The Storm: The Final 100

Hebrews 12:1 "Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us"

If you have ever run the 400 you know exactly what I am talking about when I talk about the final 100 meters. It's the final straight away of one nasty race. Your blood is pumping so fast through your body that you think you are going to lose your lunch. You feel as if your legs weigh an extra hundred pounds each. And as you round the last bend it feels as if this giant bear has jumped on your back to steal away every last breath you have in reserve. Somewhere right after feeling everything you begin to go numb and feel nothing. Your eyes can see the finish line, but your mind is screaming, "stop it! stop IT! STOP IT!" In those last 100 meters the only thing to do is trust your training and press on. You hope that you have vigorously trained your body and mind so that it will not quit on you in this moment of sheer awfulness.

I was not an excellent 400 meter runner. I much preferred the 100 and the 200. I knew how to run those races, but the powers that be forced me to run the 400 ;) It became apparent after running it a few times that I was forgetting to breathe. While, this is normal for short distances like the 100 and the 200, it is not a highly recommended practice for the 400. So, I did the only logical thing I could think of, I placed my favorite people in the whole wide world at the 300 meter mark and told them to scream at the top of their lungs, "BREATHE, SARA!"

Dear Friends, sweet Mama is running her final 100 meters. We were informed recently by the nursing home that it is time to bring in hospice care for Mom. I know this news might be shocking and almost too much to swallow,  but the truth of the situation is Mama-Mama is rapidly losing weight, she is almost totally immobile, and her body is beginning to slow down. We do not have a crystal ball so we can not tell you with 100% accuracy how long we have left, but we are rounding the bend, facing the straight away, and eying the finish line. As you can imagine we feel as if we are going to lose our lunch. We feel as if a hundred pounds of grief have been added to our hearts. We feel as if there are moments during the day and the ever present night, when the bear of grief jumps on us and threatens to suffocate us. We are all somewhere between feeling everything and feeling nothing. Our eyes are on the finish line while our hearts selfishly scream, "No! Stop it! Not yet!!!" We are trusting in the deep training of our souls that we will press on and not give up in this sheer awfulness.

My very wise track coaches always reminded us, "no one remembers how you start the race, but they'll never forget how you finish!"

Oh friends, we ache with desire to finish this race that we have been called to well! We want to gracefully, faithfully, and with open palms offer up our sweet Mama to her merciful Savior and her forever home. As we walk (maybe sometimes crawl) together during these last 100 meters we covet all of your prayers. We know that our favorite people in the whole wide world are still standing at the 300 meter mark shouting with tears, sadness, and pain of your own "BREATHE! JUST BREATHE!"

~s