Living In The Storm: The Agony of Death

more than ever in my whole life i frequently find myself at the nailed scarred feet of my Savior, repeating through sobs of a broken heart, "what do you have for me HERE?! what are you trying to teach ME?! what are doing in my heart so that i might be more like YOU?"

as a large family, as smaller family segments, as married couples, and as individuals, we have felt much agony over our sweet Mama's situation. through not such a lovely process, i learned long ago not to beg God to remove the agony, or the pain, or the days of darkness. thankfully, He so graciously and gently taught me to ask of Him, "what do you have for right NOW, in THIS place, in THIS situation? what do you want me learn? please, please, don't let me miss it!!"

i don't want to miss what He has for me in this period of sadness and grief.  i have the testimony of His word, the testimony of my own life, and the testimony of the MANY lives lived and being lived, that my God does not let agony keep Him from refining something MUCH more beautiful than gold.

this verse made my heart swell with gladness, and while reading it over and over again, i whispered from the depths of my heart, "blessings, blessings, BLESSINGS!!!!!!" (thanks, Pastor John!)

acts 2:24

"BUT God raised Him (Jesus) up again, putting AN END TO THE AGONY OF DEATH, since it was impossible for Him to be held in its power."

i am so blessed that i serve a God who has removed the agony of death thru His ultimate sacrifice on the cross, so that the ugly process of leaving this earth simply means the assurance of being forever is His presence!!

~s
*i've heard from a few of you concerned that this post indicated that Mama Mama had die. No worries, she is still very much with us. when the time comes, i will be very straight forward in informing you :) in the meantime, i was just sharing some thoughts i was chewing on today.. *