Thursday, April 21, 2011

if i were really honest with you...

i would tell you that my heart has been very discontent these last 4 days. while our trip to kansas was so super wonderful, it has not been such a super recovery from holiday hangover.  it's like i know this great and awesome plan awaits us in kansas, but there is no date or time for us getting there. there is this large "unknown" of a job lingering around. mark has graciously offered to work for topsy's or panera if it gets us there :) however, i am sure his salary would not be able to support our growing family of 6. there is a hunger in my heart to be in kansas, but there is no satisfaction to that specific hunger until the Lord provides the means for us to get there. i know the Lord has allowed this time of fasting in my heart to prompt me to seek Him.. but sometimes i would rather lay down on the floor and have a temper tantrum. i would rather manipulate the situation to get what i want RIGHT NOW, rather than allow the lack of satisfaction to draw me to remember Him. six weeks ago i was convinced the job searching was going to be the easy part of us getting back to kansas. now there are moments when i doubt we will ever get back to kansas.

and in the meantime, while i long for kansas, i desire to be "fully here" in king george. some of our dearest friends and community dwell right here. i want to enjoy them, develop deep relationship with them.. i desire to be where God wants me, and obviously for today, april 21st, that is right here.

i ask that you pray for three specific things for our family:

1. that discouragement would not consume our hearts.
2. that we would be humble, willing, and patient.
3. that God would provide a job for us in Kansas so that HIS glory and HIS ways might be revealed!

thank you for coming along on this journey with us!
~s

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