the last few days i have had some clarity shed upon my life. and when you are a mom of 4 small children and you receive any clarity regarding anything, you go with it.
i had the HIGH privilege of seeing beth moore over the weekend at a living proof conference. there is no way for me to fully explain the profound influence this woman and her ministry has had on my life. tornadoes were threatening the area and it would have been ok with me had i died in the arena with beth moore. ;)! you can not walk through one of her studies or hear her speak and doubt for a single second that this woman is anointed by God to be doing exactly what she is doing. Her deep, intimate love for Jesus is nothing but contagious.
but the area in which i found clarity was not even an area beth ( i can call her beth b/c we are like BFF's now :) spoke on. but an area that is very significant for me, very defining for me..... it was clarity about the complete and amazing gifts that are all wrapped up in my four God-given children.
if you don't know it already, i am crazy about my kids. sometimes, a lot of times, they make me crazy. but instead of me being distracted by their crazy inflicting ways, i was able in my moment of clarity, to just see THEM! i saw katie laying in her bed during quiet time scanning the pages of the word of God and glowing. i saw julia looking at herself in the mirror bobbing her head from side to side to make sure the curls were bouncing just right. i saw lucy's precious moments eyes watching me as i got ready for church. i saw my blonde headed, busy little man standing at my bedside at 645am begging for mac-n-cheese. i saw this and so much more, and i was just speechless. sometimes the mundane routines of daily living consume all the energy we possess. our duties sometimes tap our cheek away from actually seeing our kids. moments, precious moments whisk passed us and we miss them. we miss seeing them. we spend focused energy on changing them, correcting them, steering them clear of different snares, and while all of these things are WORTHY of our energy, we lose them. we often spend more time picking out the things that need correction rather than praising them, encouraging them, oooing and ahhhing over them and the spirit that indwells them, and the shining, and sometimes fleeting moments, when they choose love, when they choose sharing, when they choose obedience, when they choose self control, when they choose selflessness, when they choose forgiveness, and when they choose grace. when they are repeatedly shown their faults and short comings and rarely, if ever, shown their strengths, they will embrace their faults and short comings because they think those are the things that define them. because those are the things that get our attention, therefore those are the things do over and over again because if anything they get a response out of us. and sometimes they are desperately needing a response of any sort.
i am repeatedly humbled by my children. yesterday we were walking through a sticky situation that required them to simply obey our request and trust us in the details. i was prepared for full blown melt down. i had my responses lined out... but the kids so graciously just did what we asked of them. there were some questions, but they were asked not in a temper tantrum kind of way, but out of a respectful, honoring way. i just got all teary watching them respond the way they did. i am so unworthy to be their Mama. they are more gracious, loving, forgiving, and kind then i ever was at their age or ever will be.
if there was ever any calling to get crazy about, it's the calling to love our children in a lunatic, radical, passionate, overwhelming, unreasonable, kind of way. i hope that my children will be able to look passed all the very apparent ways i have failed them, or misled them, or did them wrong, and be able to live out their lives knowing that their Mama was absolutely, 100%, crazy-in-love, with them.
so here is to a day full of clarity... clarity in not missing our children, not missing a single minute to love them in a radical rearing kind of way!
happy monday,
~s
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