we are in process of weaning Anderson from the pacifier. on March 18th, they will be tied to green balloons and flown to the moon. it will be a production. a cold turkey process. we have to get rid of them more for my sake than his, because if any are still around i will be tempted to give him one, because i am persuaded pretty easily by him.
today, anderson was standing by the front door holding something very tightly across his toddler belly, with this incredibly adorable grin on his face. i just titled my head at him and started to crawl towards him like a mischievous cat. he just took that tilt of the head and he died in laughter, " i am not holding the pacifier! i am not holding the pacifier!" the closer i crept the louder we both started laughing. both knowing full well behind his chunky little paws was indeed the pacifier. once i pounced on him and started gnawing on his ticklish cheeks, i asked him what he was holding... though squealing laughter he said, " a pooper swicky" (because everything in an almost three year old boys mind is related to poop and pee b/c it's so irresistibly funny ;) he asked me if i wanted to eat it, i eagerly agreed. he thought it was too much that i was willing to eat something with "poop" in the title! little did he know when the pooper swicky hit my mouth it disappeared into the unknowns of my hoody sweatshirt! one point given to mom and the "pooper swicky eating" trick :0
this week i've been holding onto something in my heart, my 30 year old paws tightly gripped about it. it just took a "titled head" of the spirit to convict my heart. through lots of tears i tried to convince my spirit i wasn't really holding on to bitterness and anger..... i was holding on to a "pooper swicky!" bitterness and anger can poison my heart and my life quicker than any other emotion. and once it settles in the bowels of my soul it takes much, much prayer and intentional release and forgiveness to combat the damage. the longer i go between gut checks, the more damage is done.
i don't want to be angry. i don't want my children to remember me as moody and living on a short fuse. i want to possess this long suffering spirit intertwined with a forever patient spirit. the ONLY way for this to be possible is to daily abide, to be attached deeply and intimately with my Savior. if I neglect Him, i neglect the all that i need to reflect Him.
today, is a new day! thank goodness!
here is to calling our "pooper swicky" what it truly is, and abiding in a life that is already ours!
~s
i remember after I got engaged, stopping by to visit you all. you were holding one of AJ's pacifiers, and Katie remarked that by the time I have a baby AJ will be done with his pacifier and I can probably just have his and wouldn't have to buy any! So nice to know you're almost there haha :)
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