Predictions of Pain in 2015

We do pain embarrassingly bad. In our fast-food, drive-thru world, the second we begin to experience physical pain we seek out something to numb it.  Even more dangerous, the second we emotionally feel pain we seek out something to numb it; food, alcohol, work, all kinds of electronic screens, people, silence, relationships, noise, toys, games, music, drugs, sports, sex, porn, church, busyness, isolation, play, shopping, hunting, good works, servitude, exercise, pursuit of wealth, pursuit of happiness, control, indifference, etc...etc... the list is endless in all the ways we seek to numb our pain. Even the seemingly benign ways of numbing our pain are detrimental to sustaining the life blood of our hearts. We are ALL guilty as charged.

Recently in a FB post, I asked people to give me two words, one to describe 2014 and one to describe their hope for 2015. Out of 66 responses, not ONE person predicted any type of painful adjective for 2015. Again, NOTHING WRONG with "hopeful" adjectives, but we can be rather naive when we do not calculate a measured amount of pain that will inevitably seep into our lives. Out of the 66 responses, nearly half used a painful or "non-hopeful" adjective (determined by MOI) to describe 2014. This is not some deep analytical survey, nor an indictment on ANY ONE who answered. It was just real words from real people doing real life.  Do I think that EACH of us will encounter a painful experience in 2015? Absolutely. My personal experience confirms this. It's January 2nd, and you do not want to see the pain I have already inflicted on those I adore the most, and consequently the raw wounds already oozing in my soul. CRAP! I'm such mess! 

The rough estimate of deaths in 2014 is 60 million. That is 60 million moments when someone or a whole lot of someone's felt the full weight and paralyzing darkness of loss. These are the recorded deaths. Many societies are not real forth coming with their stats.

Now imagine calculating in every additional moment someone felt pain from all the other dance floors we find ourselves on; disappointment, betrayal, confusion, abuse, lies, loss of trust, hurt feelings, medical diagnoses, scandal, false testimony, failure, suffering, OH THE SUFFERING, oppression, addiction, bondage, captivity.. I cannot possibly list them all. But I have come to the conclusion this year more than ever,  the common tie that binds ALL the hearts of humanity is pain. I know, FOR REAL? Total Debbie Downer. But wait, please hear ME! Let us all wrap our hearts and minds around the fact that whomever we come in contact with in this world THEY TOO HAVE FELT PAIN! We have a common experience automatically with ALL (past, present and future) man-kind. When skin color, religion, sexual orientation, geographic location, vocation, socio-economic status, marital status, parental status, seek to divide and conquer us, no matter how quick we are to neatly categorize our every encounter, the common denominator is pain.

I find this astonishingly beautiful.

No, I am not some glutton for punishment and pain. No, I do not get some sick high on watching people struggle and hearing about their pain. Quite the opposite. I'm actually so deeply convicted and inspired. When the headline for the entire world continues to chatter about all the ways we are starkly different and inhabitable, yet each and every day we have this unique and stunning opportunity to discuss this beautiful-messy thing we all have in common... pain.

But remember where we started? We are embarrassingly bad at pain. From the time we are little we are taught to cover our pain, get over our pain, move on from our pain, deny our pain, keep our pain a secret, sweep our pain under the rug and are shamed over and over again for being so weak to even feel pain. Heaven forbid someone actually express their feelings and when one risks such taboo behavior they are automatically condemned to the "over-dramatic, over emotional, unstable, and reactive" club. I know, I carry a life time membership card to this club.  And so we have mass produced generation after generation who can not speak the language of pain, but  have perfected the Great Masquerade. All the social media outlets have compounded the Mayberry Masquerade we now all call reality. I mean, when was the last time you posted a totally nasty, fat picture of yourself? Masquerade. Oh, I'm guilty too. No innocence here. I crop, touch up and delete more pictures than I post :)

I can end this post here, and man it would be like the most depressing piece I've EVER written! Unfortunately, so many hearts and lives just dwell in this place of depression and hopelessness for always. I know it, because I have pitched my tent there too. I have allowed my days to end with the raw pain of life and no vision of the amen.

What do I mean?

In the face of pain, (tiny pain and HUGE pain) the only way I have survived and learned to embrace it's sacred ways and not fear the pain that will most assuredly call my in 2015, is by placing myself in the posture of amen.

Amen means, "so be it!" Not a cranky, indifferent, hardened, amen. But a protected resignation to a Majestic Savior, AMEN!  Not a sick interpretation of what the world calls the "submission amen", but in the intimate chambers of knowing and being known, AMEN! I have said it before, and I will proclaim it my entire life, when the Lord has asked me to join Him on the dance floor of pain, He has revealed His unspeakable glory in the most miraculous ways when the dance hurts the most.

God is so good at pain. He is so tender and delicate when pain rises to the top. We are often kicking and screaming so loud that we miss Him. Or we've numbed so effectively and distracted so intrinsically, we convince ourselves we don't need Him. And we miss entirely the amazing purpose of pain, because we refuse to let our hearts wrestle with His until we bleed. (Allender)

"An encore of amen" is my personal resolution for 2015.

As the new year begins, my sweet Jesus bows and asks for my hand, and as I posture myself in a curtsy, He sweeps me up into His faithful arms of refuge and I inch my way up to His ear to whisper, "so be it!"

So be it, precious readers. So be it!
~Sara