watch and learn..

with katie all i have to do is say, "tell me what's wrong?" and from the wee age of 3 she has easily been able to articulate her needs, frustrations, and worries. very helpful.

julia on the other hand does not divulge her feelings easily AT ALL. she has this super mysterious, "figure me out" element about her that honestly, I LOVE! i must take the time to watch and learn, and then piece by piece i will be able to figure out what's up.

today was totally holiday hangover day in the littlejohn house. not the alcoholic kind (pretty sure that would have been easier to handle) but the whiny, over needy, cranky kind. and that just defines MY mood ;)
for the past two weeks the kids have been entertained, catered too abundantly, and thoroughly spoiled. all of that is totally fabulous until it's just the four of them staring at me asking me a million times what we are doing today, and that's BEFORE i get out of bed. long day indeed. but my sister rescued me and had us over for dinner and FUN! then we came home and swam for an hour and now the house is silent.. AHHHH, summer bliss.

all this to say, julia woke me up THREE times in the middle of the night last night. the complaint? i am scared. as you well know by now, this is a valid concern in our house. i walked her back up to her room THREE times, prayed, cuddled and kissed all the while in a sleep coma. today, she literally hung on me begging me to touch and hold her. this was a little bit hard as i was on the phone with 8 different companies connecting and disconnecting utilities. it wasn't until tonight as i was tucking her in that it hit me what was going on with her..... WE ARE MOVING. julia is by far my biggest homebody. from the time she was an infant her whole demeanor changed when we left home. vacations were brutal because she would beg for home. thankfully, she has outgrown that little attribute, but over the last few days her actions have told me that her heart is unsettled because the house is getting emptier and emptier. more and more of her security is visually diminishing into brown bekins boxes.

as always, this was such a good reminder for me to look deeper than the complaint, the never-ending whineiness (sp?), the neediness, the bad attitude, and get to the heart of the issue. sometimes, it's just plain old nastiness that needs to be addressed, but sometimes there is an underlining  raw and real emotion controlling the behavior. sometimes we as parents are paralyzed by the fear of the unknown underlining emotion, so we choose to excuse our child's behavior based solely on what something "could" be. however, sometimes we swing to the other side and do not even consider what our child is walking through, but demand constant obedience and compliance all in the name of the law, regardless of real and raw emotions.

my prayer for myself and for all parents, is that we will neither be paralyzed nor legalistic in our dealings with our precious children, but we will meet them where they are. problem solve with and for them, and to take the time to delicately put them together like puzzle pieces in the grand design of one awesome masterpiece of a complete human being.

happy piecing,
~s