My Name Could Be Robin Williams

A couple weeks ago, I posted a picture to facebook of our time at the ocean and said this, "It is significant to me how the vastness of the ocean makes me feel incredibly, peacefully, insignificant."

My heart has been so heavy and conflicted as of late. Many of you know I'm an avid reader and a partially hydrogenated news junky. As maturity (and many restless nights) has taught me, sometimes we have to turn the news and all the extra noise in our life OFF. Between hearing about the images of fathers holding their beheaded daughters and reading the goodbye letter Zelda William's wrote for her daddy, I feel myself going inward and downward. And thanks to the work of the Holy Skidmore (see instagram), no wait Holy Spirit :)... endless self evaluation tools, and the tribe of people who speak truth into my life; I can see the warning signs of my behavior and I do what I have been taught to do; run to the only person who is so wonderfully, graciously sovereign-- all knowing, and trustworthy; and find the comfort of my insignificance there. I do not speak of an unhealthy insignificance in which one buys the lie that we are worthless and without great value (the price He paid for us is immeasurable); I speak of an identity that is found tightly tucked under the great wings of my Protector. My insignificance is gloriously reflected in His amazing power and might. And I do not know about you, but I desperately need a MIGHTY WARRIOR fighting the battles and lies that seem to be currently plaguing me.

Mark and I have been running to Job 38-40 this week. (Ok, I've been like sprinting for them, devouring them, and panting over them while Mark very lovingly and stably responds, 'those are really good') I love these chapters because it confirms that my God is a literary genius. The way He poetically, gently, and with some delightfully dripping sarcasm, puts sweet Job in his rightful place. These verses wash over me with the same exact feelings that well up in when I stand in the vastness of the ocean.

Here are some of my favorite, give me chill bumps, snippets...

And the Lord replied,
"Job, where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
Tell me Job, since you know, who set the measurements of the Earth?
Job, have you ever commanded the morning, and caused the dawn to know its place?
Have the gates of death been revealed to you, or have you seen the gates of deep darkness?
Have you understood the expanse of the earth, tell Me, if you know all this.
Have you entered my storehouses of snow, or have you seen the storehouses of the hail?
From whose womb has come the ice?
And who has given birth to frost?
Can YOU use YOUR voice to command the clouds to pour down rain?
Who can tip the water jars of the heavens?
Are you aware of when the mountain goat gives birth?
Will wild ox consent to serve YOU, or will he spend the night at YOUR manger?
Did YOU give the horse his might? Did YOU clothe his neck with a mane?
At YOUR command do eagles mount up and make their nest on high?
Will you Job, the faultfinder, contend with the Almighty?"

Now if you aren't sitting down, you should, because Job's response is timeless, breath taking, and so RIGHT ON! Because Job's response communicates EXACTLY what I'm feeling today.

Then Job answered the Lord and said," Behold, I am INSIGNIFICANT; what can I reply to You? I lay my hand on my mouth."

When we fill ourselves with the truth about WHO our God is, the richness of ALL of His attributes, and write on the memory cards of our lives ALL the ways He has been faithful to us; our only response is fall on our faces, with our hands over our mouths and worship.

As my friend Mark pointed out this week so eloquently on facebook, at some point in ALL of our lives we will see, understand and feel the awful brokenness of this world and the reality we can do NOTHING about it. But that is only PART of the story. We, I, know a God who is impatiently counting down the days to come rescue His people and right every wrong. Because while a world seems to be spinning out of control:

I KNOW THE END OF THE STORY!
I KNOW WHO WINS!
I KNOW THAT HE ALONE CONQUERS DEATH!
I KNOW THE BATTLE BELONGS TO THE LORD!!!!

And if I didn't, if I didn't stake every claim of HOPE in Him, if every fiber of my being didn't lay hold to the truth that I am His and I am beautifully,significantly insignificant, my name could be Robin.


~Sara