Our Kids

I've known it all along, but sometimes we all need reminders. My reminder came in the middle of a two week roller coaster ride. When sweet Mama slipped into a coma of course we went to be by her side. And our kiddos went to be in the care of some of the most amazing friends EVER! From day to day, hour to hour, our kids switched hands, houses, and company. Looking back, we asked a lot of them. Nothing about our lives was familiar. Most unfamiliar; watching those you love the most and find the most stability in, mourn.

In the midst of the sacred journey of sorrow, I am reminded of just how stunning our children are. I am reminded of the depth of my love for them that will never waiver. Not because they are especially well behaved, or magically obedient, or superior in the moral department, or successful in the worlds eyes; no, they are intimately and precisely loved because they are MINE, OURS! It has nothing to do with them.

With tear stung eyes, and a heart over flowing with pride, I watched my kids bravely stand in front of hundreds of people and lift their voices in memory of their Grammy. No one whined, no one hesitated, (not even my Julia) they just sang.... oh, so beautifully.

Each day when I wake up I try to realize that I am raising my children to leave, to grow them up to permanently release them.  The things I instill in them, (or desperately desire to instill in them) the areas where I am shamefully weak, and the foundation from which they will spring from (our home) will follow them wherever they go. Yes, I cook, clean, do the laundry, grocery shop, meal plan, pay the bills, run the errands, teach 3 grades simultaneously, maintain relationships and community, but ultimately I invest in the forever of my children's hearts. Stamping in their memories; Truth, life, security, skills above and beyond academia, deep love and concern for OTHERS, awareness of the world they live in, and gently drawing back the curtain of reality so that they can see themselves for who they really are; the beautiful and the not-so-beautiful, so that they might be given the tools to tame their wild hearts.

I love my kids. I enjoy my kids. I like my kids. I am proud of who they are and I am baffled by who they are becoming. They love well, they live well, and I am reminded that I get to adventure thru this Mom thing once.

Not every day do I have the perspective that I have today, a lot of days I want to put ear plugs in, throw the towel in, and fast forward to 15 years from now. Not everyday do I let the little things slide and intentionally pursue my child's heart more than pursuing my child's "correct" response.

Just like yesterday, just like tomorrow, and just like today, I have an opportunity to above all else love my Katie, Julia, Lucy and Anderson with a love that reflects something far more precious than my earthly love, but rather the love that their Savior has for them. If they can't see Jesus in my day to day love for them, then seeing Jesus might get really complicated and blurry.

 So here is to THIS DAY, remembering just how incredibly blessed I am to love the children I do, and to be loved back!

~Sara