A Giant Secret Revealed

*deep breath*

I feel like I'm on an awkward first date, and it is hard to find comfortable words to express myself.

The printer told me he was tired this morning. I patted his plastic, exterior belly and nodded, "me too!"

Nearly 5 1/2 years ago, I started this blog with the intention of keeping everyone updated regarding our family's journey with Alzheimer's. 

Three years ago this month, 6 weeks after Mama died, I determined in my heart, someday, I was going to take all of my writings about her and publish a book. And then....LIFE!  

Thankfully, I did the only thing I knew to do at the time; I kept writing. I am so glad I did, because let's all be honest here, my writing didn't peak (shall we say) until after Mama died. I giggled as I reviewed the beginning entries from 2010. God love you guys for reading. Just bless it.

In past 5 1/2 years, I've written over 70 posts regarding my sweet Mama and our dance Alzheimer's and its after-math.

41,726 words to be exact. 

41,726 words that built me. 

41,726 words that healed me. 

41,726 words that broke me. 

41,726 words that owned me. 

41,726 words that kept me from sleep. 

41,726 words that gave me peace. 

41,726 words that gave me life. 

41,726 words that offer me the ability to cross a bridge of time and memories back to her.

41,726 words that taught me how to write, REALLY write.

41,726 words that refused to let me hide, mask or pretend.

41,726 words that were so bossy and relentlessly plagued my soul to pen day and night.

41,726 words that wrote a story. My story. Our story. Mama's story.

It is with sweaty palms, a sick pit in my stomach, and a flicker of hope in my eyes, I introduce you to my very first manuscript, "Living In The Storm".... Mama's Story.

5 1/2 years in the making, a life time of memories.

I wanted you to be the first to know because you've been so kind, faithful, encouraging, and supportive since the birth of this blog... and now this book. You, yes YOU, helped me write this book because you kept coming back for more. You kept sending me kind messages, quiet squeezes in passing, and gentle prodding with your words, "keep writing!" 

And so I did. I kept writing when it was painful, scandalous, edgy, and flat out fun and joyous.

You helped me write this book. THANK YOU!

"Now what?" you ask.

Well, we have determined to self-publish this first manuscript with CreateSpace via Amazon. The time frame we are working towards is a book release the first of April, 2016! 

11 weeks. I just threw up in my mouth.

Because of this deadline, the blog will be sorely neglected. But that's ok, I know yall will be gracious, because BIG changes are coming to the blog too! She's getting a FULL make-over. WOOT! WOOT!

"What can you do? Righ now? This second?" you ask. Aw, I'm twitter-pated you asked. 

1. Keep a close eye on my facebook page, Sara Littlejohn for all the up-to-date breaking news. Like the page if you haven't. Share the page. Invite everyone you know to join and like. 

Follow me on twitter @saraslittlejohn. 

Follow me on instagram @saralj4

2. Share this blog post EVERYWHERE! We are trying to create an environment of anticipation and excitement, we want EVERYONE to join.

3. Last and for real, (no christian mac-n-cheesy meant), PRAY. 

Pray for future readers. People walking through the journey of Alzheimer's, and all their broken places. Pray the book would give them hope and healing.

Pray for my sweet family as they walk me through this very, "new to us all" experience.

Pray my heart would be protected from the lies regarding my art; my soul. Lies of inadequacy, unworthiness and insecurity. "No one cares about your words, Sara," plagues me in the dark of night. 

This week, I read on the very wise twitter, a quote I love,

"We write to taste life twice!"

 I wrote this book so I could talk to Mama again. So I could see her face flash though my brain as my fingers sped across the key-board. I wrote this book so I could hear laugh again. I wrote this book so I could be close to her again. I wrote this book so I could taste the sweet, sweet, fragrance of Mama once again. I wrote this so I could hold tightly to memories and write them all over my heart one.more.time. I wrote this for her, because she would have wanted me to! 

I miss her.

~Sara