While I was trying to convey to each of you, "You aren't alone" YOU in-turn shouted right back at me, "You aren't alone! We want to #limpoutloud TOO!"
Click after click, comment after comment, view after view, share after share, the collective online "AMEN" you guys screamed was heard, and I wanted to cry.
I've been chewing, praying, chewing, praying and praying some more, "Ok God, what's next?! Now what?! I've told everyone about #limpoutloud. They're excited. WAY more excited than I could have possibly dreamed. They want to #limpoutloud. They're craving it too. Where do I go with this?!"
I have started small, with 3 ways we are going to #limpoutloud!
Buckle in.
Here we go.
#1. Limp Thru It, Not Around It
Very few people are willing to sit in the uncomfortable places and recognize the wounds we each individually bear. Step one in #limpoutloud is discovering what has caused us to limp. For so long, so many have walked around their own personal stories, instead of THRU THEM. Those "forgotten" memories you attempted to bury have to be dug up and processed.
-All those years of sexual shame; trace that back to its origin. How did you first learn about sex? Who told you? A trusted parent or dirty, rotten playground friend? Did that older snake take advantage of you and start exploring parts of your body that were not his/her to touch? The awakening of your sexually being has a DIRECT correlation to your current, internal/external relationship with sex.
-He was a sloppy drunk who abused with his fist and his words. But for some reason you could not shake how much you thought you loved him. You blamed yourself and tried hard to NOT irritate him. You have moments of rage against God for giving you a daddy who was worthless and absent.
-The one adult figure who bullied you to no end. A person who was suppose to be safe, only to dismember your soul day after day. Criticism, anger, relentless expectations; you were never good enough and they told you repeatedly.
-The shocking grief of a sibling's death; the horror of no tomorrow.
-The church that refused you, the people who ignored you, the congregation that said, "We only serve the healthy, move along!"
-The terminal diagnosis that meant watching her die twice. Both times before your very own eyes.
-The lifechanging memory of blood pouring out of your body into the toilet. The blood sustaining the very heart beat of your child; gone without warning.
-The mundane tasks of daily living, have you dead on the inside and pacing without hope. You imagine what life would be like if you didn't exist anymore. You believe the atrocious lie, "this world would be better off without me!"
-He told you he didn't love you anymore and didn't want to be married to you. He packed his bags and went and found respite in another woman's bed. You are ashamed and hate yourself. The very reflection of your eyes in a mirror makes you cringe. You can't even get out of bed.
The abuse, the addiction, the pain, the neglect, the shame, the guilt, the horror, the betrayal, the anger, the sorrow, the grief, the intimidation, the false hope, the false teaching, the lies, the empty promises, the secrets you are carrying around are holding you captive.
You can hide it, buy it, bury it, burn it, turn it, spin it, ignore it, forget it, and dress it up with a bible verse. You can call it contemporary, traditional, self-realization, independence or rebellion. You can legalize it, promote it, publish it, record it, and make look it eloquent, holy and honorable. You can rename it, rebrand it, repackage it, and recommit it a million times, but I know better now.
WE ARE ALL LIMPING!
Let me share a secret. In walking thru your story, treading on places in your heart that are numb, dead and have been on lock down for decades, might uncover paralyzing pain and agony. FIND A COUNSELOR. Not just any counselor. Choose wisely. The only thing worse than no counsel, is bad counsel. Don't walk alone. Surround yourself with even ONE friend who will hear you. I know you're scared. I know it sounds awful. I know you're thinking, "living through it was hell enough, doing it again seems impossible!" Please, please don't trust in your oppression any longer!
Now lean in close and write this on your heart. One of the single greatest lines my Mama ever spoke over me was, "You can go there, but you CANNOT camp there!" Walk thru your story, but KEEP WALKING! Do not set up tents of bitterness and regret. KEEP WALKING. Do not get stuck in the the 'what-ifs' and 'if-onlys'. KEEP WALKING. I promise, when you get to the other side of your story, having walked thru it with eyes wide open, you will be able to #limpoutloud and have endless passion and grace for other limpers.
In my small 34 years of limping, I recognize the most harsh, unforgiving, legalistic, self-righteous and abrasive people are those who have not walked back thru their story. They have little compassion and patience for the limper. The have no tolerance for on-going failure and struggle. They do not tread gently, but often destroy and burn bridges every where they go. My heart breaks every time I come upon a pilgrim who has been beat up by one of these life-stealing thieves. Lord, have mercy!
#2 Limp With Those Closest To You
Sweet friends, if you cannot limp with those you are living with and doing life with, YOU AREN'T LIVING!! You are faking it, and I call your bluff. We must be willing to show our messy to those closest to us. Laying down our pride and limping along side of our spouse, our children, our coworkers, our church family, our life groups, our small groups, our siblings, our parents, our students, our neighbors and our community. Be ok with starting conversations with, "I'm really struggling today, I need your support!" Don't be afraid to HONESTLY *INSERT GASP* answer the question, "How are you doing?!" And if you dare ask the question, "how are you doing?" soften your heart to hear the REAL answer. Not just some faux, southern living antidote in response, "I'm fine, bless your heart for asking!"
Do not try and #limpoutloud if you aren't limping with those around you!
#3 #LIMPOUTLOUD
Now here is the exciting part! When we begin to #limpoutloud we provide a safe place for others to do the same. We create an environment stable enough for healing to wash over stories and redemption is born. When we own our limping we can better invite a desperate world and declare, "I'm limping, your limping, LET'S LIMP TOGETHER!!"
Practically speaking, that means we are going to blow up social media with #limpoutloud stories. Instagram, twitter, facebook, snapchat, etc...etc... I want to see, hear and watch the #limpoutloud concept EXPLODE!! If you have a long story, email me at mslittlejohn@gmail.com and I'm going to start publishing blogs with YOUR #limpoutloud stories.
We want lives, hearts and history to be reclaimed, because a small few souls refused to hide their limping any more. We want people to be set free, found and forgiven! We want to say with our limping lives, "God is MORE than able!" We want our limping lives to testify to the glorious God we serve. We want our limping lives to serve as an example of the beauty our Savior makes out of limping ashes. And in our limping; when we are made low, our only hope is that Jesus Christ is made known.
There is an entire generation of people, desperately craving companionship with of league of limpers. You are welcome here dear, dear, limper.
#limpoutloud,
~Sara
p.s. If you shared last week's article, PLEASE share this follow up one. We don't want to leave people hanging :)
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