I Don't Mean To Be Rude...BUT!

Oh Lu.

First grade, six year old, book reading, math loving, Lu-Lu.

Lucy has mimicked more of a tornado since school started, than the lively, consistent, creek she typically resembles. All my first grade teacher-friends say to give her some more time to adjust to school and the hard work of following directions 8 hours a day, before I panic about her spastic behavior patterns. *sigh*

One of the tornadic things Lucy has started doing, that will be short lived in the Littlejohn venue, is whenever she wants to give her opinion about a certain situation, or just be flat out unkind, she prefaces her statement with, "I don't mean to be rude, but..."

.... "your dress is ugly"
.... "your breath smells"
.... "you didn't work very hard"
.... "you can't play with me"
.... "I'd prefer you leave my house now"

One of the things I have ALWAYS appreciated about Lucy is her ability to be assertive. I really struggle with being assertive. I have grown in this area since becoming a Mama, but it has taken a lot of practice.

So while I am working with Lucy on smoothing over the rough edges in her particular form of communicating; I, in no way want to stifle the beautiful gift of assertion.

Per usual, when I am working with one of our kiddos in a specific area I am often convicted of similar patterns and/or behavior in my own life. My struggle is not external (Val would have never stood for such lippy clauses :) as much as it is internal. I like to add mental clauses and conditions in my most intimate relationships.

I am reading a book called, "Give Them Grace" which is an excellent book on showing your children the gospel through grace. But it is not an easy read. The author hammers away at all the little clauses we intentionally or unintentionally place around the little hearts growing up under our roofs. She identifies the difference between preferences and actual heart conditions that need to be addressed.

Often times we spend endless hours correcting external preferences and ignoring the beautifully, wild heart beneath.

If you would mentally journal every interaction you have with your child then sort them into categories of preference vs heart issue, you will be shocked how we are prone to harp on the preference junk. How our children go numb to our voices because we nit pick and nag about stupid stuff. It's no wonder then, that when we desire for them to hear us regarding really meaty stuff, they're already deaf to our guiding voices.

One of my all time favorite statements a counselor made at our CCEF conference, in regards to raising children was, "less rules, more conversations!"  I love this! I wish we could apply this across the board in every relationship and circumstance we encounter; marriages, schools, ministries, churches, friendships, families, and the work place. "Less rules, more conversations!"

Imagine if we consciously abandoned our petty rules, opinions, preferences, clauses, and conditions, and tried with gentle hands to meet people on the road they were walking. If we laid aside our, "I don't mean to be rude, but...." prefaces, and poured renewing grace all over each other. How different would relationships jive? How sweet would it be to commune in that circle of friends? How life giving would that church be? How transformed would our marriages look? How much easier would it be for our children to hear us?

Before the Throne, we are viewed in this incredible way. Our heart is what is sought after. Our core is found. It is grace, precious, precious, grace, that we stand upon.

I don't mean to be rude... but for real y'all, this grace stuff is where it is AT!!

Happy de-clausing your life :)
~Sara