Sound It Out

"Mom, how do spell ____?"

"Mom, how do you spell ___?"

"Mom, how do you spell ____?"

I hear this a lot these days as I have growing minds blooming around me. Thankfully, we've got the domino effect in full motion as Katie can help Julia, Julia can help Lucy, and Lord have mercy, I am not sure who can help Anderson. Lucy and I have tried to help Anderson, but most days his comic gene just ends up winning and he makes Lucy and I laugh. "Anderson what does your name start with?" Anderson with a crooked smile,
"P-P-P-POOP!" (Why is poop so funny?) MERCY!

I am pretty sure on some level Katie was reading by four. I will feel very accomplished if Anderson can recognize his letters by four. ;) Anyway, back to spelling my day away. Sometimes, the fastest thing to do is spell a word out, but at some point, when I am in full teacher mode, I start saying, "Sound it out! You tell me how to spell it!" The other night Julia was asking Uncle Zach how to spell a word. His response, "you've been given the tools (which is your letters and their sounds) you sound it out!" We do share a gene pool after all.

With beginning readers, I do spell a lot of words out because they are not totally familiar with putting the tools to use. They have not figured out some of the standard English language rules and shortcuts; I before E except after C. When two vowels go walking the first one does the talking. Change the Y to an I and add ES. The Q and the U stick like glue. When the ING comes to play the E runs away. Just to name a few. Whenever one of my blooming minds asks why this word does not follow the rule and this word does, I tell them the people who created the English language were intoxicated
(this is a very non Sunday school answer :)

For instance the word PHOTI ='s fish.

PH~ comes from PHone
O~ sounds comes from wOmen
TI~ comes from the word capTIon

(Thanks, honey for this linguistic example!)

The other night Katie had a total melt down because 8:30 was her curfew and we told her it was time for bed. In the middle of the melt down she told Mark that it was so totally unfair that she had to go to bed and we could stay up as long as we wanted! *aw, youth* She then wanted to know at what point she could pick her curfew, Mark said 16. I sucked in air a little and wanted to intervene, but then I remembered that years ago some very wise parents told us that their child's senior year in high school was fair game regarding the child making the majority of their decisions, including their curfew. They thought that it would be a great time for that child to explore freedom before heading off to college. First of all, BRILLIANT! Second, of all, BRILLIANT! Third, they also realized that their child's senior year wouldn't be the first time that the child experienced a taste of freedom, but all along the growing up years their child would have age appropriate freedoms handed out.  I know from experience this looks REALLY different for every set of parents. I never had a curfew, never. It was just expected of me to check in and be home when I said I was going to be home or call. Maybe because I was the fifth child, maybe because I was SUCH a home body, maybe because most nights I was in bed by 9 , or maybe because I wasn't allowed to leave the house unless I was accompanied by my big brothers... Probably, all of the above, right Dad? :)

Nonetheless, when at the wee age of nineteen, I became engaged it was totally natural because I already had years of experience under me to stand sure footed on, because I had already made some pretty important decisions for myself. HUGE kudos to my parents for this wise and tactical parenting moment!

In a world FULL, and I mean FULL to the bursting point, of helicopter parents who are so OVERLY involved in their child's every moment and terrified to let them "sound it out" in age appropriate ways and age appropriate areas of their lives, I am all for having my kids struggle a bit in order to self soothe, self teach, self sort, self solve, and for goodness have them learn to, "SOUND IT OUT!"  for the sanity of all involved.

I know it's scary. For many it's unknown territory to let your child make a decision, choose an outfit, drain the hot noodles for the first time, (just let Katie do this for the first time last week) play a rough and tumble sport, be left with a babysitter for the first time, and so on and so forth. But it's worth it, I promise.

Here's to one, "sound it out!" moment today for you and your kids!!
~Sara