Living in the Storm: Love Changes Things!

The Queen Mother had planned on staying with her subjects this weekend, but her everyday Prince Charming rode in in his white Camry and whisked her away from us to SDC. Why you ask? Because love changes things.

You see this weekend is not just an ordinary weekend in the lives of my mom and dad, this Saturday they will celebrate 39 years of marriage. My dad knew this weeks ago when he originally planned the trip, and since days and dates aren't really a big deal for mom he thought they would celebrate either before or after he left. But love changes things.

If you pull back the curtains of my parent's life as it is right now you will see things that you probably could have seen 39 years ago. Laughter. Lots of laughter. A home filled with constant people, warmth, and phone calls. Pictures of a life time of friends hanging on the refrigerator. Sticky notes with dad's hand writing all over the place. Their master bed all made up. And love. Noticeable love.

Some glimpses you would catch if the curtains were pulled,  I imagine mom and dad never dreamed of taking place. Dad, as he gently lifts mom's broken body onto a plastic stool to bathe her with his farmer boy hands, and his preacher man's heart.  As his solid, confident, voice reads her her bible study because she can no longer read.  As he chops her food into bite size pieces and places her bib around her neck for meal time. As he intentionally places her hands in her lap so her wheel chair wheels don't tear up her time worn hands. And as he pulls the blankets to cover his beloved, a frail reflection of the woman he married 39 years ago, as the sun sets. How can anyone's heart survive such heart wrenching darkness, you ask? Because love changes things.

My brother Zach recently made a statement after observing mom and dad that he hopes us married people know what love is.  I thought it was deeply profound.  After 10 1/2 years a marriage I thought I had some pretty firm grasps on what love was. But after watching up close and personal these last 8 months how my Daddy loves my Mama, I fear I have much to learn.

I can't read my dad's mind. I wish I could sometimes (* wink, wink* Dad) but what I know is that after being a first hand witness over the last 30 years of my life, my dad wanted to be with my mom this Saturday because love changes things. My mom will no sooner remember this act then she will remember the numbers of the multiplication chart. But he will always know. I will always know. You, my dear readers, will always know that the love of this man is neither deterred nor diminished by the ugliness of disease.

Happy Anniversary seems so inadequate in this situation.  Thank you for being a continual example of how a God inspired, a God centered, a God powered, and a God blessed marriage should look.  Thank you for pouring love onto each other, day after day, year after year. Thank you for laying down your lives for each other. For not giving up on each other. For constantly pursuing Jesus and each other. Thank for saturating each other in grace and forgiveness so that love had a place to grow. Thank you for allowing love to change you.

~s

Living in the Storm: Project Val

Hey friends,

Wanted to ask you for your prayers for this upcoming weekend.  My dad is driving a bus of youth to Silver Dollar City this weekend, (driving a bus of youth might be torture for some of us, but it is absolutely one of my dad's favorite weekends of the year).  The Queen Mother will be staying back and residing in the Hall Castle for the weekend. She will be attended to by 6 of her children and 6 of her grandchildren. Please pray that this weekend will be sweet, calm, and smooth for all of us. Mama loves being in constant companionship with Daddy. She likes knowing where he is at all times and when he is returning. Please pray that she will adjust to Daddy's absence and enjoy all the sleepover fun headed her way ;)!

Thank you for journeying with us!

~sara (for the whole crew)

no surprise, we have a winner!

Earlier this year Katie submitted an essay to her school about who she thought deserved the "Kindest Kansan Citizen Award".  The judges received all kinds of essays and picked a select few as winners. The winners read their essay during an assembly and their nominee is honored.  Between Katie's brilliant essay, and the object of her essay, the combination was BOUND to be a winner!  I cried and cried when I read her essay because the recipient is unbelievably worthy of the honor. I will not go into details because Katie's essay does an amazing job of explaining to you just a glimpse of how we feel about our Auntie Erin.

"My kindest Kansas award goes to my awesome friend, Erin Lawrence. My mom grew up next door to Erin and has been a friend of mine for years. She is such a good friend that we call her “Auntie” Erin, even though she is not my real Aunt. Auntie Erin lives in Lawrence, Kansas. She has a set of twins, Abby and Elise. She has a wonderful husband named John. She has a cat and a dog. She has spent her whole life working with preschoolers with special needs. I think that it is different and cool because she still loves them even though they are different. The reason I chose her is because she is very special to my family and me, always thinks about us first, and is like a family member in my family. She is also very fun, loving and creative. When I was little she used to send me like three books each year! We love seeing her and her family. When we were moving from Virginia to Kansas I bet she was glad we were coming. Also she is always there for us. Thank you Auntie Erin for being such a good care giver!"

 ~s

mission accomplished!

we had another flawless nap time, bed time, and night yesterday! zero tears. zero coercing. just a sweet little boy all grown up, self-soothing, sans pacifier!

a very wise person told me 3 was the ideal age for this weaning process, she was very right! ;)

that's one small step for anderson, one giant leap for his parents ;)!
~s

goodnight moon!

"Goodnight room
goodnight moon
goodnight cow jumping over the moon
goodnight light and the red balloon"

run down of day 2.

the kiddos had a babysitter yesterday morning/afternoon so i was not going to torture sweet kelly by making her put anderson down for a nap, instead i let them watch a video during rest time.... anderson passed out on his bean bag :) i thought this might cause complications again at bed time, but mark and his magic touch had anderson asleep in five minutes flat.... AND ANDERSON SLEPT ALL NIGHT!

yesterday, he asked for the pacifier throughout the day, but we just kept telling him they made a trip to the moon. unfortunately, anderson had his first encounter with a "boy" injury and sobbed for his pacifier :(

i know better than to think the process is over, but i am SO grateful that he was able to make it all night.

thank you for all your supportive texts, calls, voice mails, emails, etc.. it really does take a village of people to raise these creatures we call children :)

happy wednesday,
~s

i need a space ship STAT!

run down of day one.

for months we have been planning on sending the pacifiers to the moon via balloons. this was anderson's idea. he LOVES balloons and LOVES letting them go. we convinced him the pacifiers could take a trip to the moon.

so around 430 we went to price chopper to buy said balloons. he was excited. it didn't hurt that his mother and his sisters know how to up play a really uneventful moment. there was dancing and singing in the price chopper floral area.  he was telling everyone about the pacifiers impending adventure.

at approx. 535 the maiden voyage of the pacifiers to the moon initiated. we waited til mark got home, but i didn't want to wait much longer because i wanted to distract him with dinner and the bed time routine. as soon as we stepped outside to let the balloons go anderson began to recant on the whole deal. we kept moving forward. he kept crying, " i am not ready to send them to the moon, not yet mama, not yet! please mama, no!" really you could hear my heart breaking. we proceeded. we let the balloons go and the sobs continued, " i want them to come back, please go get them!!" after coming inside he continued to barter with us, "please find me one, please borrow one, please go buy me one!" more breakage.

after a few minutes he did stop crying. he is not used to getting it through out the day, so that is the one thing we have going for us. he got it at naps and bed time.

we were bracing ourselves for bed time.  we had planned on doing something we had only done a handful of times during our parenthood... we were going to soothe him to sleep. because we are firm believers in the self soothe method, our kids have put themselves to sleep from infancy. i remember katie got bronchitis at 9 months and she slept with us one night while i rubbed her back. surprisingly, anderson didn't cry at bed time. but he did take 2 hours of rubbing his back until he finally fell asleep, (this will be a short lived routine, count on it!)

i also had planned on being awakened in the middle of the night. i was. around 130 he woke up and didn't stop wailing for a half an hour. he wouldn't stop fighting me. we sang, we danced, i rubbed his back, etc..etc.. finally, i did what every good parent does... i looked for a space ship to fly to the moon and find the darn pacifiers.... no really, i turned the tv on at 130 in the morning to distract him. we watched little bear for 5 minutes, he immediately settled, i turned the tv off, he put his thumb in his mouth, and we slept on the couch together til 7! it's that whole pick your poison, remember?

it wasn't bad. it wasn't great.

today i am tweaking the plan a little. we are going to skip naps in hopes that he will be so exhausted at bed time he will just fall into his bed at 7. this plan could also back fire on me. we will see :)

we are holding steady! we are drinking coffee! we are going to prevail!

i feel like turkey...

today will go down in history as one of those days that you are doing what you know is best for your child, but you know that it will be far from easy... and could possibly cause YOU far more hardship, inconvenience, and stress than your child will ever feel. in our 8 1/2 years as parents we have had plenty of these moments, days and seasons.. like potty training, moving to the big bed, self soothing, following the "one bite" rule at the dinner table,  correcting grocery store protocol, and the all too famous trying toddler times,  etc...etc...

after months of preparation, this evening we will fly anderson's pacifiers to the moon. this is a bridge we are unfamiliar with. none of the girls used a pacifier once they found their thumbs, but anderson only wanted the pacifier.

i am a firm believer in only making these large changes when i am not pregnant, i don't have a child under 3 months, or it coincides with other major life changes. i know clear thinking, diligence, and long suffering is required for such changes.  we considered pulling the pacifier at 2 years old, but we were in the middle of making a HUGE life change to Kansas. i thought about it in the fall, but we were moving anderson to his big boy bed. so, the next bench mark that made sense was anderson's third bday.i am NOT pregnant, i don't have any other children under 3 months old, and currently we have no planned major life changes. i didn't want to do it ON his birthday in fear he would be scarred his whole life... so i waited to do it today.

in parenthood there are times that you don't mess with good. you get to strategically pick your poison. for instance, when katie was a baby she only took short, little, hour long cat naps during the day, but slept 12 hours at night. i could have pushed for a longer nap, but could have messed up the 12 hour sleep pattern at night. so, i didn't mess with good. when julia was born i insisted that her and katie nap at the same time in the afternoon, it meant for some cranky mornings with julia, but it also meant i had two hours of silence in the afternoon. i tell people all of the time, parenthood ='s being sherlock holmes, solving the daily, monthly, yearly mysteries that kiddos throw our way.

i hope to log our "cold turkey" pacifier with drawl experience.

i am a bit anxious about this process. i don't like seeing my kids in pain, in hardship, in stress, but who does? however, experience has taught me that this, in the long run, will make life easier. i also know that if i am wishy-washy and inconsistent about this he will smell my weakness and break me.

so if you think of us send some prayers our way.... or a bottle of wine ;)

here is to flying pacifiers to the moon and surviving the decision to do so!
~s