3 Reasons I Stopped Homeschooling

I finished my last year of "full load" homeschooling, during the thick fog of my mother's illness and death. I had a 4th grader, 1st grader and Kindergartner. It is by the grace of God, the girls were able to be retain and advance academically. The gorgeous gift of homeschooling, is the freedom to do school from the bed, the park, the nursing home, the pool or the museum. The sweet schedule of homeschooling, allowed us to persevere during this really difficult time in our home, and still actually learn something together.

By the time we entered the final stretch of stale, slow, sanctifying January; I knew deep down into my toes, it was time for traditional school.

While I continued to keep Anderson at home for preschool and Kindergarten, I was ready to relinquish the girl's schooling. I knew this was necessary because of these 3 reasons. Before anyone loses their 'happy' with me, rest assure I know these are the 3 reasons WE chose traditional school. There are a myriad of reasons to stop homeschooling, this is just our story! There are also a myriad of reasons TO homeschool, and believe you me, I am a fierce defendant of the homeschool option! It is NEVER off the table for us.

1. Grief:
Because of the intense grief churning in my gut, lots of places in me were exposed. Namely my inability, at the time, to continue to homeschool while I grieved. Grief requires a margin of space unlike any other emotion. There was no space for my grief while I was homeschooling AND still raising babies. Giving up homeschooling stung BADLY. My pride took a major hit. I ultimately loved teaching my kids. It was SO fun to discover new and exciting concepts together. It was incredibly satisfying to watch them learn under my care. But bearing the entire weight of overseeing someone's academic life, (in ADDITION to overseeing every other area of their life) can be stifling, incredibly demanding and destructive if not managed correctly.

2. Damaged Hearts:
Homeschooling was causing an unhealthy rift in my relationship with our kids. When we started the homeschool journey, I envisioned homeschooling allowing us to build a tighter relationship with one another, and it DEFINITELY did for a season. But the entire list of our reasons to homeschool, became null and void when I began to feel their hearts pull away from mine because of school. I was unwilling to sacrifice my relationship with my kids, all under the banner of maintaining "control" of their schooling. Our relationship is forever, school is only for a season.

3. My kids needed sandpaper.
There comes a time in everyone's life, when one must learn to listen to another voice of authority outside of one's parents. There comes a time in everyone's life, when one must learn to learn under another method outside of their parent's method. Our kids needed another voice speaking into their lives with responsibility AND authority.

School is SO MUCH bigger and broader than just reading, writing and arithmetic. The sandpaper of other voices, including the voices of their peers, has been the greatest launching pad for our kids wild growth with other humans. Mark and I desire for our kids to be academically strong, but our GREATEST desire is for them to be able to navigate all kinds of relationships successfully. Relationships with teachers, peers, older students, younger students, difficult relationships, encouraging relationships, strained relationships, awkward relationships, blossoming relationships, painful relationships, and unknown relationships. Traditional school has offered us all of these fundamental situations AND MORE! Each encounter has allowed us to gently guide our kids through the terrain TOGETHER, while they are still under the safe space of our home.

I thought I was homeschooling for all the right reasons, until I stopped homeschooling and the grossness floated to the top. Much of my motivation for homeschooling was founded in fear, control and pride. All very bad reasons to homeschool.

Raising kids, is learning to constantly balance and define our motivations and intentions, against our own junk.  IT IS SO HARD!

Please do not hear what I am NOT saying, I know so many amazing people who have struck a beautiful balance in the homeschool world. I respect them and support them with all there is in me! My sister, who is my best friend, is one of them. And I in NO WAY, want my readers to use my words as weapons against one another. NOT OK. But rather, I know some Mama out there needs permission to walk away, guilt-free, from the homeschool world. You are not failure dear friend, if you need to let go, walk away and make a change. You are not less than or unworthy. You are a woman of valor, who is seeking what is best for your child and your home. I applaud you. I support you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!    

Happy Traditional Schooling!
~Sara