As they say.
What an unbelievable few weeks. I am not sure where to start, and unfortunately there is no ending yet.
The move was so smooth I would not have known we were moving if I had not been following a Penske for 600 miles. But I did follow one, and we did in fact move (a midst much opposition ;) We blubbered, blundered, and attempted to boldly leave Kansas. Pretty sure we were successful on the blubbered part. I did not feel so bold as I did that ugly cry where you gasp for air in between sobs, all the way to Clinton. My adorable son meekly said from the back seat as we passed 435 and State Line, "Mama are we going to die in Mississippi?" It took me a minute to figure out what he was asking me, but then it dawned on me that the last time he saw me cry, that ugly cry, was when Mama died. "Oh, baby I am not crying because anyone has died or is dying." He gently asked, "Then why are you crying like that?" "Well buddy, I am sad because I am leaving my home, my Daddy, my sister, my brothers, my nieces, and a whole slew of people that I love very much!" Very long pause. "Mama, are you going to be happy again in Mississippi?"
That exchange of words is probably one of the sweetest conversations my son and I have ever had. One of the sweetest conversations I have had in the last 10 days. A conversation that showed me just how deeply he loves me, how quickly he can read me, and his concern for my swift return to happiness.
"Oh, yes buddy, I am sure Mama will find her happy again in Mississippi!"
Since then, there have been glimpses of that 'happy', like when we registered the girls for school, or all 4 of the kids went to explore the town, and I didn't think twice about their safety.*Bliss* Or when sweet faces started knocking on the door to see if the kids could play, or when I sit outside with my morning coffee and feel the stillness and slowness fill my bones. Or when we watched Mark's dad awarded with "Staff Member of the Year". Or when the kids get to run errands with Grandma. That's when I feel my 'happy' just under the surface buried a bit under the stress and displacement just dying to explode out from within me. And I know that when the house finally gets AC, and we are no longer sojourners living out of suitcases, my 'happy' will increase with each settled cabinet, drawer, and room.
But it would not be normal if I did not have a few major meltdowns along the way, right?
I have had them. I have embraced them. I have called them by name,"SADNESS" and they are mine.
The girls start school on Thursday, and I am not anxious at all. I am so excited for them and feel so sure when I see their ease and glow of anticipation. I am already so proud of them.
Here are a few pictures from recent events.
They are more to come, and some more stories too!
~Sara
AJ helping on the back track.
First driving lesson
Welcome!
I will follow him!
Go carting in P'toc with family!
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