Living In The Storm: Sucker Punched

We have laughed a lot about the little phrase, "sucker punched" these past 12 days.  What it means is when someone, some thing, some card, some commercial, some text message, some voice mail, some fb post, some smell, anything really that unexpectedly sends you to tears. Macy's Christmas department had me undone....

Here is my sucker punch from yesterday.

The very word Christmas turns my thoughts to my Mama. Everything about this holiday has my mom written all over it. In the past, I have been Christmas cheer in a bottle. It's my husband who always needs a little boost in his Christmas enthusiasm.  However, I must admit the thought of Christmas decorating, Christmas shopping, Christmas cooking, makes me want to curl back up under my blankets and stay there. Typically, I enjoy seeing your ridiculously beautiful Christmas trees on facebook, this year my heart groans.

Sometimes motherhood calls you to an entire life of doing something you don't feel like doing; labor in itself redefines, "I don't feel like doing this!" but you do it for your child... getting up in the wee hours of the night for months/years (secretly trying to out-wait your spouse in hopes he will get up this time) rearranging your entire social calendar to make it home in time for naps and bed time, sour moments of discipline that hurt you far worse than it hurts your child, watching your child leave and your whole body screams, "I don't feel like letting you go!" but you do it. Over and over again you convince yourself to set your feelings aside and pursue the painful for your children.

For me, Christmas will be pursuing the painful in order to recreate the "new normal" in our lives. For me, it's about seeing Katie's eyes light up about the tree, watching Julia sort the ornament boxes looking for her "grammy" ones, laughing with Lucy about the silly snowman we've collected over the years, and listening to my boy sing, "Joy to the World!" at the top of his 3 1/2 year old lungs. No, I don't feel like doing this, but I will do it because my mom would have done it for me. And after all of this is said and done, I just want to be the mom that my mom was for me!

Happy Decorating,
~Sara